Use your words

Use your words.  Those are three words that a preschool teacher or the parent of a toddler repeats regularly. But like most lessons we teach our children, they continue to be applicable in the adult world where we don't have a preschool teacher or parent to point us in the right direction every time we commit a social boo-boo (like being nice to one another).  Use your words for children is asking them to not throw a tantrum but use their verbal skills to express what it is they want/don't want, like/dislike, etc.  Use your words for adults implies say what you mean and mean what you say.  Although it could mean the same as the toddler version, but I would like to think that most adults developed verbal skills along with their adult-body.  I've been wrong before. 

I bring this up because I was reflecting on sarcasm that is used by many to express appreciation, interest or intended to be a form of flirting.  You often hear people saying something mean and sarcastic in an effort to mask their feelings of awe, appreciation, or gratitude of another person.  For example, I gave somebody something I had made the other day and asked for their opinion.  The response I received was "I'm sure it sucks." What?!  It's not that I think that what I made is good but a thank you would suffice.  Why would one say that?  Is it a defense mechanism?  Covering up for personal insecurities?  I was taught that it's nice to be nice to other people and that my words are the most socially prominent way of communicating my feelings.  When somebody brings you something they made or bought or a flower they picked for you, or whatever why wouldn't you explicitly and overtly express your appreciation of it? (Even if you don't appreciate it mama taught me to say thank you, always.)  This mean-sarcasm nonsense is foolish and juvenile.  I do not condone this behavior.  I think it's lovely to be charming and sweet, it makes people feel good.  And if people don't know how to respond to it, well shame on them, they ought to learn.  One doesn't have to get "awkward" (another notion I dislike, but I'll save that for another rant).  You say thank you.  Or you say what you mean!  "I appreciate the flowers you brought me," "I really enjoyed spending time with you," "I would like to get to know you more," "I appreciate your insight," "I would prefer not to stay out all night, thank you, let's have lunch instead."  Say what you  mean and mean what you say.  Use your words.  

I wish you Enough

I read this on someone else's blog and thought it was too beautiful to not share.  

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.

 I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more..

 I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting. 

 I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting…

 I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good- bye.

I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

Life is full of dichotomies: day and night, love and loss, joy and pain.  This poem captures the notion that experiencing a little bit of suffering or lacking only enhances the positive and the reality.  Without rain there is not greenery, nor fruit or flowers.  The sadness or pain is all a part of the cycle of life; although we may not understand it or we may be blinded by our grief.  Grief and sadness are not bad, they are meant to be embraced as they will only serve in the future to appreciate the joys in life. 

Merry Christmas with smoked salmon and amaretto margaritas

Merry Christmas!  We decided to have margaritas with breakfast, why not? 

Amaretto Margaritas

Serves 3

• 3 parts (6 oz.) of a mixture of freshly squeezed lemon juice* (3 oz.) and frozen Minute Maid limeade concentrate (3 oz.)
• 2 parts (4 oz.) tequila 
• 1 part (2 oz.) amaretto** 

Mix all the ingredients above and serve over ice in a margarita glass (you could also blend all the ingredients in a blender).  Garnish with the curly rind of one of your lemons.  

This is a simple recipe, a 3:2:1 ratio, easy to remember even with the hectic nature of holidays!

*I like to use Meyers lemons if you have them handy; they are more floral and pair very well with the amaretto.  

**This recipe normally calls for triple sec here but I didn't have that so decided to try amaretto, it was a perfect accident.  Amaretto is a delicious drink that is often forgotten about except for in amaretto sours, so I guess this margarita is a spin on an amaretto sour.  Excellently sweet, sour, with a touch of bitter almond. 

Merry Christmas margaritas! 

Smoked salmon with whole grain mustard on sourdough baguette 

In his homily, the priest at church last night concluded about Christmas (which I think can be extended to life in general) is that we all just want to love and be loved.  Isn't that the truth? I hope you spent your day with the people you love and that love you. 

Life is a contact sport

Conversations at bars fall into one of two categories: 1. mindless, obscene banter or 2. deep, philosophical and full of life lessons.  Because I'm me (and if you're reading this, you probably know me) my conversations at bars (and almost all of my conversations in life) fall into the second category.  

The other night I was out with a friend and we were discussing a recent "life event" of mine - a conversation that I had had with yet another person about the way to live life.  Ought one let fear dictate her/his actions?  Where does one draw the line on letting fear stop her/him from making certain decisions?  The conclusion that we came to is that there is no right answer.  My rough-around-the-edges and very wise friend said "life is a contact sport" (which makes more sense to my North American friends - contact sport being football, hockey, wrestling, soccer, it's the classification for a sport in which physical contact is rampant, normal and encouraged).  I really liked this analogy.  Do you want to live life on the sidelines, watching other people feel and get hurt and score (all both metaphorically and literally speaking)?  I certainly don't.  Getting hurt is just a part of living, whether it be heartbreak or a skinned knee.  Do you want to come to the end of your life and assess/evaluate and realize you had just settled?  I'll take it a step further, can you go to bed at night, put your head on that pillow, alone with your thoughts and sleep peacefully knowing you lived that day to the fullest? 

The last words of advice from my wise friend - "drive [life] like a rental car."  Amen, brother.   

Situational Awareness

The flight attendants on Southwest are hysterical.  Today on my flight the flight attendant got on the intercom as we were boarding and said "now people let's have some situational awareness, if you see yourself standing there in the aisle with nobody in front of you and a lot of people behind you, yes, it's  your fault and please move.  Step out of the aisle."

Wouldn't life run a little more smoothly if people had situational awareness.  According to wikipedia, situational awareness "is the perception of environmental elements with respect to time and/or space, the comprehension of their meaning, and the projection of their status after some variable has changed, such as time, or some other variable, such as a predetermined event."  In other words, being aware of our surroundings but I'm going to take it a step further and say also being considerate of your social surroundings and acting accordingly (accordingly, this may be ambiguous).  This may be called common sense to some, manners to others, and to another (unfortunately) large group of people, it is a foreign concept.  Whether we want to admit it or not, we live in a society with other people where our actions affect others and we are (scary thought) affected by the actions of others.  This extends to much more than just moving out of the way for people on the airplane (or not driving slowly in the left/fast/passing lane, talking loudly on your cell phone when others are trying to read/study, sneezing without covering your mouth, etc.).  I really don't have much to say other than let's try to remember the other people that we live with (in society); it's nice to be polite.  I struggle with expressing this eloquently - it is considerate to have manners, to be nice to other people, to not be selfish.  Isn't it good to aspire to be considerate?  It's fun to make other people smile and feel good about themselves.  :)

Around Athens

We set  about to see Athens - there's a lot to see, even if you stayed an entire month I think you would feel like you didn't see everything. We first took a small tour of the city center with a guide, Dorothy.  We passed the temple of Olympian Zeus, the first Olympic stadium - the Panathenaic Stadium (which is no longer used for the Olympic Games but is where the Olympic torch is lit and begins its journey at he commencement of every Olympic Games every 2 years), Syntagma (constitution) Square and the Parliament which has a tomb to the unknown soldier, We drove around the city, the guide regurgitating facts about buildings that I wish I could share with y'all, but unfortunately do not recall nor did I take notes.  I guess that means you have to visit Athens, too! 

Panathenaic Stadium - reconstructed from the ruins of the an ancient Greek stadium
 

The Acropolis: we climbed up to the Parthenon and were given a lesson by Dorothy: the marble used to be painted, we are thankful that the Romans copied us because we know what the statues (that the Byzantines took and used for other things) looked like, much of the decoration of the Parthenon is in the British museum or the Louvre in Paris, etc etc. Next we visited the New Museum of the Acropolis (in which photos are prohibited except on the 3rd floor, which is dedicated to the Parthenon). One small detail that caught my eye was that in the entrance of the museum exhibit, there was a clear glass plate in the floor (the entire floor is glass but it is etched, this particular plate was clear and you could see underneath); there was sand and some ancient, very well-preserved pottery. Dorothy explained that this is a Greek tradition, when you start the construction of a building, you always put something close to you, from the kitchen in the foundation. I really liked that tradition - very symbolic.

You may wonder why the museum is the "New" Museum of the Acropolis."  This is because the Greeks are trying to get back much of the artifacts from Ancient Greece back from the British museum. The British said (probably in more words and much more diplomatically) "well look at your museum, you don't even have a proper place to store these priceless artifacts."  So the Greeks built the new, huge, splendid museum and as far as I understand, negotiations are still underway as to the fate of the Ancient Greek artifacts, especially the decoration of the Parthenon because as it stands now, it is a bit bare - the ornamentation being on display at the British Museum. 

Every museum visit must end, begin or have sandwiched within it,  a drink and/or snack at the museum cafe. We sat on the outside veranda which has magnificent views of the Acropolis and enjoyed cappuccinos (mama and me) and a beer (papa b). Refreshed from our break, we continued on to see more!

The Parthenon

Theatre of Dionysus at the Acropolis

Temple of Athena - note the olive tree on the left, this is because Athena's gift to the people was an Olive Tree (as opposed to Poseidon's which was the sea of Erekhtheis - Poseidon, God of the Sea struck the Earth with his trident and water sprung forth (sound familiar?) - Athena and Poseidon were in a competition to be the patron of the city which is now called Athens

Ionic Columns - note the capital is characterized by volutes (the ornamentation that looks like a scroll); this is one of the three types of Greek columns, the other two being Doric, very plain, no ornamentation at the capital; and Corinthian, which has much more ornamentation, i.e. leaves, scrolls, great detail, etc.

The Olive Tree near the old Temple of Athena, this is not the tree that Athena offered to the people but this one was planted in 1917 and a fun fact, it was planted on George Washington's birthday (Dorothy was full of these trivia)

Amazing - life always finds a way

Nuts and seeds for sale in the Plaka

Next stop, tomb of the unknown soldier in front of the parliament building in syntagma square. The 2 guards (Evzones) are dressed in the uniform of the War of Independence (1821); that is, white stockings, a white pleated skirt, and top, a beret and clog-like shoes with a pompom on the toe, the shoes are lined with metal in the bottom, like tap-dancing shoes. Dorothy had told us that each shoe weighs 5 kg! This made the march that the soldiers do all the more impressive - they stand erect (with and expressionless face) and kick each foot up, the leg parallel to the ground, and before lowering the foot back down, they make a circle motion with their foot, like a horse or a bull before charging. They rotate sides periodically and ceremoniously. There's a third soldier dressed in contemporary uniform who looks after them as they are not allowed to speak or even make eye contact with anybody. About 40-minutes into the hour, they march forward and stand motionless. The modern-dressed soldier examines each one, fixing the tassel that hangs from their hats, their socks and stockings, wipes the swear from their brows and announces to he public, in both English and Greek, "you may take photos with the guards one at a time, please do not try to speak to them, be respectful."  The change of the guard occurs every hour on the hour but we didn't want to wait around for 20 minutes so we went off to our next visit, st. George's church on the top of Lycabettus Hill (the highest point in Athens).

Evzones - Presidential Guards at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier outside of the Parliament building in Syntagma Square

magnificent Evzones

We walked alongside the parliament and then up through Kolonaki, a very nice neighborhood in Athens. Kolonaki is on a steep slope and we walked up the hill passing through restaurants, that had sidewalk seating. About halfway up the hill the road turned into stairs and we were walking up stairwells between residential buildings. The road was lined with lush, green trees; that is one thing (of many) that keeps amazing me, the fertility of the land here. There is allegedly a water shortage but there are foliage and plants everywhere! Eventually we made it to our destination, a funicular station that would take us up to St. George's church. The funicular was small and cramped and a wave of claustrophobia came over me as we ascended the hill in a dark tunnel; at one point there was a disco ball flashing lights from the walls of the tunnel...seriously, guys? There is the most adorable white church on the top of the hill, a bell tower and a restaurant. We visited the church which fits about 12 people. There was a priest chanting and later incensing and an elderly nun praying. We lit candles and said a small prayer and were off. The view from St. George's church is incredible, you can see all Of Athens - whose population is 4 million (of the 11 million of all of Greece). 

St. George's Church on the top of Lycabettus Hill

Bell tower at St. George's church, overlooking the whole city of Athens

the back of St. George's Church

 

Islands of Hydra, Poros and Aegina

We took a 1-day cruise through the Saronic Gulf to the islands of Hydra, Poros and Aegina. The day started beautifully, we sat on the deck of a big boat with warm sun, good music and a freddo (Greek iced coffee). A tall, young, beautiful, Greek dancer, Michaelus came and gave us a dance lesson - a little difficult to maintain balance  on a rocking boat, but it made for an interesting experience.  

sailing throuh the Aegean Sea

Our first stop was at the Island of Hydra, a small island with the population of 3000 people and where cars and motorized vehicles are not permitted - people get around by walking or donkey.  We got off the boat and walked along the shorefront and through the white-washed allies. Life here seems really simple, there is no vehicular traffic to cause noise or stress and so it seems to me that people live tranquilly.  As we were leaving a short, older gentleman with the skin the color of tan-leather and a head full of silver hair stopped me and asked if I cared for a ride on the donkey.  I thanked him but said I had no time.  "Ok. Ok. You is beautiful lady," he said through a toothless smile as he walked away.  "Efharistó!" (thank you), I called after him and hopped along my way to catch the boat.

mama and me :)

Island of Hydra

white crooked, perfectly imperfect alley-ways of Hydra

squishy!

precious donkey blocking the road in Hydra

Back on the boat, we had a buffet lunch of Greek food -  dolma, beet salad, tomato salad, a variety of rices, fish, olives, cheese, chicken, pork, and (my favorite) honey-walnut cake.  The cake was a dense yellow-sponge cake speckled with walnuts and soaked in a honey syrup.  Yum! 

We made our way to the Island of Poros - an island with a population of 7000 and here, there are cars. We walked along the dock and watched a little boy, maybe 7 years old learning how to fish with his grandfather.  In between casting the line and catching the fish, grandpa was feeding the little boy bites of his sandwich. The boy ate willingly because if he ate, he got to fish more.

Church as we approach the Island of Poros, maximum capacity 21.5

boats lining the Island of Porous

Next stop, Aegina, the largest of the 3 Saronic Islands which we visited. This island is famous for its pistachio groves, the monastery of St. Nectarios and has a very rich history (of which I will only share with you what I recall). The very first coin minted in the world was from the Island of Aegina in about 700 BC and had a sea turtle on it.

The 20 remaining (of 365) churches built by the Aegeans as protection from pirates

Bougenvillia in front of the Monastery of St. Nectarios

hallway in the Monastery of St. Nectarios

Kalistera...

After touring the Island of Aegina and eating pistachios roasted with lemon, we boarded the cruise ship for the last time and watched a show of Greek folk dancers.  The two men performed traditional dances from various parts of Greece.  Of course there's the Zorba but my favorite was a dance from Macedonia which depicts the wheat harvest by dance.  It is a one-person show and the dancer dances the first part with a sickle, as if harvesting the wheat; the sickle is spun around and around the dancer's body.  Next he uses a sifter, a round, tray looking device lined on the bottom with a mesh strain and dances with that.  The last part was incredible, he held the sifter upright and balanced a glass of wine on the rim and did a little number with it, he twisted it left and right and then he began to furiously spin the sifter around and over his head.  The crowd all watched, awe-struck clapping and yelling "oppa!"

Land of milk and honey

We had breakfast on the rooftop of our hotel, with a view of the acropolis and ruins of the Temple of Zeus. The planter boxes that lined the outdoor terrace were filled with rosemary, oregano, geranium, among other fragrant herbs. A small olive tree grew to my right, with black olives hanging ripe on it. It's incredible how lush the land is and consequently extremely fertile, explains a lot of the richness of the cuisine and the ancient tradition of food production,  preparation, preservation.  

We took a bus to the Cape of Sounion today, about 75 km SE of Greece. We wound along the Aegean Sea passing gorgeous homes, fuchsia bougenvilia, white and purple oleander, olive trees, caper trees, and more oregano than meets the eye. There's something about the Mediterranean - the sun glistens off the water differently here, it seems shinier than elsewhere, maybe from all the blood spilled in ancient battles or all the passionate love stories that were made here or maybe there's just something magical about the Mediterranean. There definitely is. We stopped on the side of the road for a view of the temple of Poseidon (Greek God of the Sea), and continued on our way to the topf of the hill where the Temple is located.  The Temple was built by the Greeks in the 5th Century BC. Apparently the temple was destroyed by the Persians in the 4th Century and rebuilt by the Greeks in the 5th.  It is a 4-sided building, with the traditional Greek columns, 42 originally of which 15 stand today. 

 

Temple of Poseidon, Cape Sounion, Greece

View from the top of Cape Sounion

Remains of the Temple of Poseidon, Cape Sounion, Greece

Beautiful - I don't know what tree this is but it wasn't an olive tree

Partridge!

These flowers were growing up between rocks in seemingly unlivable conditions

Mama and me at the Temple of Poseidon

Enjoying an afternoon freddo cappuccino - a very commmon Greek drink, espresso over ice with really thick foamed milk on top.

The colors at sunset here are incredible. A golden sun set in a clear sky that's changing colors by he minute, pinks and oranges, soft purples and blues. The closer the sun gets to the horizon, the more yellow it appears and the more pink the sky becomes. Now more purple skies - no wonder people stop what they're doing at sunset and allow themselves to be mesmorized by the beauty of it.


excuse the quality of the photo, it was taken from the bus but this is the sunset over the Aegean Sea

In the evening, we wound through the old allies of the Plaka to a Tavern recommended to us by the concierge.  It was a bit off the beaten path, nestled in a hill right next to an Orthodox Church. We sat at the top of the hill and let the waiter (who I named Georgous because that seems to be every other man's name here) choose our meal for us.  We started with a Greek salad, cucumbers, tomatoes, thinly sliced red onions, capers, olives and feta cheese, that Georgous dressed for us with olive oil, apple cider vinegar and salt.  Georgous was a very animated man, "you must eat Greek salad with a lot of olive oil otherwise it's not Greek salad," he proclaimed as he threw his hands up in the air. For the next course, mama and papa b had grouper with spinach and monkfish with mushrooms, respectively.  I had lamb cooked in foil with potatoes and cheese - another waiter removed the contents of the foil onto my plate at the side of the table. The food was delicious, tender and flavourful.  One of the times Georgous came to check on us he insisted I try a caper with a chunk of potato and a piece of meat, which I did.  I ate it and smiled and he said "you see, The Greeks, we know how enjoy the food!"  We had this with a jug of house red wine that was spectacular and believe it or not, we did not have dessert!  

Kalispera, Atena (good evening, Athens)

The sky was a pink, orange haze - that old world haze that's characteristic of these ancient countries.  As we descended over Athens, you could see the beachfront houses in neat little rows - they looked as of they were glued together and I imagined Greek neighbors yelling from one house to the other: the latest gossip, the price of tomatoes, politicking. It made me think of the conversation I had had with the young Argentinian lawyer next to me, he was asking about the social life in the US, is it really as fast-paced as they say? Are people very solitary and don't go out? I explained that it depends but it's easier to be less social when our houses are so spread apart (as opposed to the "flat-style" buildings so characteristic of the majority of the world.  The way of life makes it easier to drive home after work and stay home in front of the TV, maybe that's also a cultural difference - it is a less social culture and people don't feel the need to socialize and are fulfilled by being in front of the TV. (Or, maybe that's part of what's wrong with our culture, a lot of our depression problems may be because of a lack of social life...?)

The cab driver put our bags in the trunk without even making eye contact with us, I could tell this irked my dad - he really likes to make friends.  We got in and drove off, the warm Mediterranean air blowing through the open windows, the breeze was welcome after being in/on an airport/airplane (read: hot, sweaty, stuffy, recycled air) for 20+ hours.  The radio hummed zorba-esque music in the background and I was taken back to one hot summer in Damascus - we were eating dinner in the open-aired courtyard of an old house converted to a restaurant in the old city. There was a big Greek group dining and the guitar player welcomed them with the zorba, we were invited to join and we spent the evening dancing around the fountain in the center of the restaurant - starting slow and speeding up the tempo, as the zorba goes. I smiled at the memory and knew that before we leave this country, we would dance the zorba again. 

The cab wove through the streets - in that  "ordered chaos" characteristic of old-world-country-driving. Lanes are ambiguous and personal space, non-existent; pedestrians may or may not walk into traffic causing a fit of rage for drivers; motorbikes and vespas take advantage of their size and weave around cars.  The driver wasn't shy to lay on the horn if traffic was taking longer to clear for him than he would like. He sat on a mat of wooden beads - for the heat and a wooden cross hung from the rear view mirror. 

The street signs made me think of my college physics and calculus classes, alphas and betas and thetas. What a beautiful alphabet, not to mention old...

Mama exclaimed that she had spotted the Acropolis! Although it was dark, we could see the Acropolis through the trees as we made our way to our hotel. As we pulled up to the lobby, mama handed the driver his fare and said "efharisto (thank you) so much."

Time to explore! We left our hotel, and were almost run over by motorcyclists who seem to flirt with the cross walk line, anticipating the green light. We wandering around the ruins of the Temple of Olympian Zues and Hadrian's Arch - the columns mightily standing the test of time. This time when we crossed the street, we took extra caution - drivers here are reckless!  In the Plaka, we heard a man softly playing guitar and singing a ballad into a microphone; restaurant owners invited us to have a seat and eat at their restaurant, each claiming theirs to be the best one around. A man sat behind a cart selling roasted chestnuts and corn on the cob; another older gentleman had a compartamentalized cart of nuts "prova!" he proclaimed as we approached. We tasted various nuts, macademia, almonds, cashews and decided on roasted, salted almonds for an evening stroll snack. Men were selling these contraptions that light up as they soar through the air; another couple of young guys were playing with fire - the more daring of the two taking sips of gas and roaring out fire to please the crowds dining in the Plaka. We walked slowly through the olive tree lined allies stopping in each shop to admire the souvenirs, or sample candied fruit.

Ruins of Temple of Zeus in Athens, Greece

More Ruins of the Temple of Zeus

kids messing around near the guys playing with fire in the Plaka, Athens, Greece

Greek yogurt + Greek honey = yummy

various yogurts

Multi-use  hollowed out log, planter

the Acropolis at night

 

Unaware

I've often heard people say that we don't have seasons here in Monterey.  If by "seasons" they mean it doesn't snow, then yes, we don't have snow.  But nature is cyclical and even in tropical places or regions of the world with "Mediterranean climates," like lovely Monterey, there are seasons.  The most obvious way to see the difference in the seasons is to note the changes, leaves on tree, no leaves on tree; long sunny days, short less-sunny days.  Nature needs a break, it needs to grow, to create to bear, to rest - so although we don't have as drastic changes from season to season, they are there - you just have to be aware. The season changes in every region of the world are fitting to that region's ecology and environment, or maybe it's the other way around, the ecology and environment make the seasons change in the way they need.  Or maybe it's a compromise of both, or something entirely different...

We often walk through life blind to our surroundings.  For years and years I lived in Monterey and was so absorbed with my life (whatever that means) that I didn't pay attention to the season changes, the differences in the visibility of the stars and the moon in the summer versus the winter, the abundance of fruit in the summer and the baron shrubs and bushes of late-fall.  I have started noticing, however.  I notice the subtle changes daily in the autumn: less day light, a lower hanging sun, a definite change in weather - namely, less fog but more crisp, cool air.  I see squirrels putting away acorns.  It's amazing! The other day as I was laying out in the midday sun of my driveway, I kept hearing something rustling in the oak tree above me and the sound of things dropping on the ground around me.  I looked up and watched as a squirrel was intentionally knocking acorns from the tree onto the ground. It made me think of something a co-worker had mentioned the week prior, that is, when squirrels put away a lot of acorns in the Fall that means (according to the Farmer's Almanac) that it's going to be a wet winter.  Well that makes logical sense!  Plants (seeds) need water to grow and the winter is the wet season, so squirrels act as the oak tree farmers, encouraging the seeds (acorns) to fall on the ground in the Fall and hopefully when the wind and rain comes, they will get some soil (nutrients) and be able to sprout and bring about more oak trees come Spring!  Nature is amazing.  How do the squirrels know?  We don't need to get too philosophical here...

So I guess all I'm saying here is that if we intentionally make ourselves more aware, there is so much to discover in our surroundings.  I wonder what else I've been missing all these years...?

The Sound of Silence

The title of this post is not a reference to the Simon and Garfunkel song, although it is a good song, this post is about the beauty of silence.  What do you think of when you think silence?  I personally think of nature and early mornings but that is probably because I am a morning person.  

Today after my morning walk, I came home and rather than turn on my music (albeit classical) I decided to just make tea and sit outside in silence.  It's the beginning of autumn and the weather is markedly colder than it has been.  (Colder is a relative term, it was colder for my Monterey.)  I can also tell that the season is changing because coming home from my walk, when I reached the normal landmark that I associate with daylight, it was still dark.  It was so beautiful!  I sat outside with my tea and took in the air crisp - I listened to the sea lions barking off in the distance and I heard birds chirping in the garden next door.  As beautiful as classical music is, I ought not drown out these beautiful, natural sounds that inspire musicians and composers.  I would like to just be in them, be part of them.  I don't know that we take much time to appreciate the sound of silence in our hyper-connected buzzing and beeping world with text and e-mail notifications, constant blaring music, etc. but I did today and I appreciated it, it calmed me down and reminded me that there is more to life than my iPhone.  I think I want to try to do it more.  I suggest you do, too. 

Love in everyday life

I read this great article about redefining love that a dear friend shared with me.  (You should read it) But it says "Love, as your body experiences it, is a micro-moment of connection shared with another."  I'm sure you've felt it before, someone does something special for you, the cashier smiles at you as you check out of the grocery store or someone compliments you.  Many of us have this preconceived notion of love that it must be this and that and it must occur in these steps and takes that long to cultivate, etc etc etc.  However there are different kinds of love...love isn't just what two people share in a marriage, there is so much more to love than that.  A lot of my friends live this way, that is, in the moment and making every connection with another human being matter.  Giving another person your full attention, a little piece of your heart and opening your heart to him/her.  This can be in the form of a good conversation, a walk with a friend, something you genuinely share with someone else, looking another human being in the eyes when you talk to them and smiling at him/her.  Oftentimes I find that we put up barriers, we go through life with tunnel-vision, blind to the beauty that surrounds us but if we would let ourselves just open up a bit, feel happiness, even love for one another, maybe we could live a little bit happier.  Look people in the eyes, share a moment with them...it doesn't need to go anywhere, let's just appreciate the moment we have with others.    

"Little by little, love begets love by improving your health. And health begets health by improving your capacity for love."

Here's to love!

Misunderstandings

It's amazing to me how relationships between humans work.  A human being's psyche is so complex but a relationship (mother/daughter, mother/son, boyfriend/girlfriend, friends, etc...) depends on the psyche of two people.  I watch daily, as people have relationships that do not work due to pride or misunderstandings.  How sad.  I am guilty of this, too.  My pride has gotten in the way of relationships in the past or my inability to empathize with the other half of the relationship.  Or my inability to explain myself.  It's not all up to one person, however.  When there is a misunderstanding between two people, one (the one who was misunderstood) must honestly explain themselves without getting mad and the other person has to be willing to listen and forgive.  Both require putting your pride aside and being honest, opening your heart a little bit and accepting that you might get hurt, the other person may run away or completely disagree with you.  Worse, they might say something hurtful to you or even worse yet, tell you that you hurt them.  Then there comes the feelings of guilt and shame and feeling bad, "how could I have said that?" "why did I say that?"  It's OK, you're human and you said it, but explain that you didn't mean it and when on the receiving end, trust that they didn't mean it, put yourself in the other person's shoes, be compassionate and understand that you, too have been there and done that.  It makes me think back to my sophomore year of high school, in Mr. Bussio's class when we read Nelle Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird, Atticus says to Scout, "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view . . . until you climb into his skin and walk around in it."  This piece of moral advice can be applied to many circumstances in life but in this scenario, I just urge that when you find yourself in a disagreement over a misunderstanding with a friend or loved one, to take a step back, step into his/her skin and walk around in it.  Try to experience what the other person is experiencing, why did they say this, what did they mean?  And accept at the end of the day that this person loves you and never meant to hurt you.  This is perhaps the most difficult of all and requires great strength, but give that to yourself. 

Hope Is The Thing With Feathers by Emily Dickinson

We all have those days when we feel sad or down.  It's not bad to feel that way, it's just a part of life, a duality so to speak - good and bad, day and night, light and dark, etc.  These exist naturally complimenting each other and therefore our emotions will not always be happy. The beautiful thing about having sad days is the memories with which you can cheer yourself up, or the friends you can call or a beautiful poem.  Also, being sad makes the happy times that much happier... 

This Emily Dickinson poem cheered me up today, nothing like a little hope.

Hope Is The Thing With Feathers

  

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

Monterey Bay Aquarium Sip & Sea

Last night was the Monterey Bay Aquarium's Sip & Sea Event.  A member's (and members' guests) event for the 21+.  The Aquarium was open after hours so that attendees could explore the exhibits, enjoy a drink and listen to live music.  I went with some friends and had a blast!  We enjoyed local beers and wines while admiring the jellyfish, fish, sharks, sea turtles, sea horses, otters, star fish, etc.  Did you know that sea horses dance while courting and before mating (see video)?

Jelly fish!

Sardines

Sandra, me and Shandy with a sea turtle in the background! (#MontereyBayAquarium)

The "Bang" outside the Aquarium