Love in everyday life

I read this great article about redefining love that a dear friend shared with me.  (You should read it) But it says "Love, as your body experiences it, is a micro-moment of connection shared with another."  I'm sure you've felt it before, someone does something special for you, the cashier smiles at you as you check out of the grocery store or someone compliments you.  Many of us have this preconceived notion of love that it must be this and that and it must occur in these steps and takes that long to cultivate, etc etc etc.  However there are different kinds of love...love isn't just what two people share in a marriage, there is so much more to love than that.  A lot of my friends live this way, that is, in the moment and making every connection with another human being matter.  Giving another person your full attention, a little piece of your heart and opening your heart to him/her.  This can be in the form of a good conversation, a walk with a friend, something you genuinely share with someone else, looking another human being in the eyes when you talk to them and smiling at him/her.  Oftentimes I find that we put up barriers, we go through life with tunnel-vision, blind to the beauty that surrounds us but if we would let ourselves just open up a bit, feel happiness, even love for one another, maybe we could live a little bit happier.  Look people in the eyes, share a moment with them...it doesn't need to go anywhere, let's just appreciate the moment we have with others.    

"Little by little, love begets love by improving your health. And health begets health by improving your capacity for love."

Here's to love!

Misunderstandings

It's amazing to me how relationships between humans work.  A human being's psyche is so complex but a relationship (mother/daughter, mother/son, boyfriend/girlfriend, friends, etc...) depends on the psyche of two people.  I watch daily, as people have relationships that do not work due to pride or misunderstandings.  How sad.  I am guilty of this, too.  My pride has gotten in the way of relationships in the past or my inability to empathize with the other half of the relationship.  Or my inability to explain myself.  It's not all up to one person, however.  When there is a misunderstanding between two people, one (the one who was misunderstood) must honestly explain themselves without getting mad and the other person has to be willing to listen and forgive.  Both require putting your pride aside and being honest, opening your heart a little bit and accepting that you might get hurt, the other person may run away or completely disagree with you.  Worse, they might say something hurtful to you or even worse yet, tell you that you hurt them.  Then there comes the feelings of guilt and shame and feeling bad, "how could I have said that?" "why did I say that?"  It's OK, you're human and you said it, but explain that you didn't mean it and when on the receiving end, trust that they didn't mean it, put yourself in the other person's shoes, be compassionate and understand that you, too have been there and done that.  It makes me think back to my sophomore year of high school, in Mr. Bussio's class when we read Nelle Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird, Atticus says to Scout, "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view . . . until you climb into his skin and walk around in it."  This piece of moral advice can be applied to many circumstances in life but in this scenario, I just urge that when you find yourself in a disagreement over a misunderstanding with a friend or loved one, to take a step back, step into his/her skin and walk around in it.  Try to experience what the other person is experiencing, why did they say this, what did they mean?  And accept at the end of the day that this person loves you and never meant to hurt you.  This is perhaps the most difficult of all and requires great strength, but give that to yourself. 

Hope Is The Thing With Feathers by Emily Dickinson

We all have those days when we feel sad or down.  It's not bad to feel that way, it's just a part of life, a duality so to speak - good and bad, day and night, light and dark, etc.  These exist naturally complimenting each other and therefore our emotions will not always be happy. The beautiful thing about having sad days is the memories with which you can cheer yourself up, or the friends you can call or a beautiful poem.  Also, being sad makes the happy times that much happier... 

This Emily Dickinson poem cheered me up today, nothing like a little hope.

Hope Is The Thing With Feathers

  

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

Monterey Bay Aquarium Sip & Sea

Last night was the Monterey Bay Aquarium's Sip & Sea Event.  A member's (and members' guests) event for the 21+.  The Aquarium was open after hours so that attendees could explore the exhibits, enjoy a drink and listen to live music.  I went with some friends and had a blast!  We enjoyed local beers and wines while admiring the jellyfish, fish, sharks, sea turtles, sea horses, otters, star fish, etc.  Did you know that sea horses dance while courting and before mating (see video)?

Jelly fish!

Sardines

Sandra, me and Shandy with a sea turtle in the background! (#MontereyBayAquarium)

The "Bang" outside the Aquarium

Made in Monterey

The best way to thank someone for something is to cook them dinner, in my humble opinion.  It's more personal that way, I think.  Also, cooking is a creative art and relaxing, you get to be alone with yourself in the kitchen creating something, something that someone else (or you, yourself) will savor.  I don't know about you but I find peace in cooking, I relax (especially when I drink a glass of wine and listen to good music while I'm cooking, jejeje).  I had a "Thank you" dinner scheduled last night for a friend who did a huge favor for me...so I decided to try to go local... 

Yesterday on my way home from work I stopped at the Monterey Fish Company (at Wharf #2) to see what was fresh.  They had recently caught Monterey Bay Rock Cod, among other fish, but that looked good to me.  I bought a couple fish and the nice young guy scaled the fish and gutted them.  I asked if I could watch and he showed me how to swiftly and cleanly gut a fish, something I have never done before.  It will take several poorly gutted fish before I can do it with his grace.  I also bought squid but did not prepare it last night, I'll keep that for another post.  

Thank you fishies, for letting me eat you 

I went with simple: extra virgin olive oil (grown and pressed in Watsonville), Crane Lake Sauvignon Blanc (from Napa Valley), rosemary (that I picked at work), thyme (that I picked in my aunt's garden), Meyer lemon slices (that were given to me from my friend's tree), salt (oops, Himalayan salt that I bought at the store) and garlic (that I found in my parents' kitchen which surprisingly enough CAME FROM CHINA!).  Well, I try to do local.  

I put 2 super long pieces of foil on a baking sheet, perpendicular to one another, laid the fish on the foil and generously poured olive oil, salt and the herbs over and in it.  I had cut some slits in the fish and stuffed the slits with herbs and chopped up garlic and inside the fish I placed thin slices of the lemon and more garlic and herbs.  At the end I drizzled the fish with some white wine and sealed the foil, making a tent like structure.  I put it in a preheated oven (at 375˚ F) and baked it for 20 minutes. 

seasoned Monterey Rock Cod 

 The green beans (from the Farmer's Market) were blanched then tossed in olive oil and butter that had thyme and almonds frying in it. 

green beans from the Farmer's Market

Voilà

Yum!

Dessert was honeydew (farmer's market) with lime  (farmer's market) squeezed on it and fresh mint (aunt's yard)...refreshing!

Monterey bike path

Why one oughtn't have headphones/earphones on while running or walking on the bike path:

1. The barking of the seals and sea lions is missed
2. AND the sound of the otters crunching abalone 
3. AND the sound of birds chirping 
4. AND the sound of waves crashing or kayakers paddling 
5. you are unaware of your surroundings 
6. you don't get to say good morning/good day/good afternoon/good evening to your fellow runners/walkers/bikers

Good morning, Monterey, view from my commute to work 

the Wharf