People forget that we're going to die

I seriously am bombarded with philosophical questions all the time. I mean maybe it's me because I think a lot or maybe it's the people I hang out with or maybe I read into things too much...

Today I was giving a private English lesson to a woman, people in Spain like to have these conversation classes to talk and practice their English. One of the really important parts of learning a foreign language is practice. I mean anybody can study grammar but you have to listen and speak to actually be able to speak. And native English speakers are hard to come across in my small city of Ourense, so I have lots of people who like to talk to me in English.

One of my students is literally a doll. She's my mother's age and just full of life and thoughts and opinions. I normally bring with me questions to stimulate conversation, sometimes about travel, love, life, money, work, etc. Each week a new theme. We have never finished one list of questions because she just goes off on tangents about one thing and her thoughts on love, how we should live, how people are stupid (generally speaking), etc.

Today our topic was money. Her response to one of my questions was "people forget that we are going to die and we are here temporarily, if they are reminded of that, they will live their lives differently." I LOVE IT.

I think people need to not obsess about things so much. Let go and live! Take a step back for a second, what are you doing with your life? Are you happy? Is what you're stressing about going to matter in 30 minutes? Tomorrow? In a year? LET GO.

Monkey See, Monkey Do

This video was played in my Philosophy class. It seems to be an Australian ad campaign about parenting and the responsibility of adults/parents and their tremendous influence on children, which more often than not, is subconscious and more detrimental than we think.

The video was played twice, I didn't watch it the second time because it was repulsive to me. I guess that means it succeeded in its purpose because most ads and media are aimed at our senses. They attempt to "shock and awe," and that, this one did.

After watching the video, the class split into pairs and was asked to answer 3 questions:

1. How did you feel about this video? Please recall specific scenes.

2. Do you think you influence anybody with your actions?

3. Do you agree with the message of the video: "children see, children do?"

Here are the responses of my students, 17 and 18 year old Spanish students:

1. Rage, anger, disappointment, helplessness, sadness, it's wrong, terrible

2. Most of the students thought they influenced their younger siblings and/or cousins. One student disagreed and said he influenced everybody he spoke to.

3. All of the students agreed with the message of the video.

The teacher then posed the question, do people influence children more positively or negatively? All of the students said negatively, except one student, the same student who said that he believed he influenced everybody he talked to. He said they were equal. I agree with him and want to expand on what he said, adding my own thoughts. I think children are sponges, they are born as blank slates and absorb from their environment. "Good" and "bad" are a bit abstract and their definitions can vary, depending on whom you ask. I think we can all agree that the scenes shown in this video are bad, a child smoking a cigarette, a child throwing rocks at a caged dog, a child flipping the bird, etc. What this video failed to show is a mother listening to her child tell her stories, or a father on a bicycle ride with his child, a grandparent reading a story to their grandchild or a neighbor teaching a child how to bake cookies. Patience, love, the desire to teach and entertain younger generations.

Negativity sells and is more outrageous than positivity. It is also more harmful and thus we should be conscious of the impacts we have on those around us. We should also be aware of how positive actions affect others, smiling at someone could make their day. We never know what our neighbor, classmate, colleague, etc. is going through in their personal life. A little bit of patience and understanding could give them the peace of mind, encouragement and strength to face their struggle. Or maybe your neighbor, classmate or colleague is not going through any problems, but seeing your smiling face everyday puts them in a good mood, that good mood causes them to smile at another person and look at that chain reaction! I guess it's a little more work to be positive but the effects are endless. I'm sure we've all been the recipient of a random act of kindness. I'm also sure we've all witnessed unnecessary outrage. It's just up to us to make conscious decisions about how we want to live. We define ourselves by the decisions we make and our actions. It IS conscious decision and I think it's a lifelong commitment at attempting to be a good person, having patience with others and being willing to help. We will all need help one day and we will also at point in our lives be able to help others. Let's take advantage of what we have, and do what we can to make the world a tiny bit better.

I believe I can fly

This philosophy class of mine is very thought-provoking and has been the motivation behind many of my posts. So yet again, other thoughts that came to me from things the students said, which got me thinking, and here I am writing about it.

We were talking about Functionalism, Dualism, Personalism, and Materialism with respect to different schools of thought about our mind, body and soul; whether they exist; if they are one in the same; etc.

One student commented that "The body is an obstacle for the mind," and another said, "The body gives our mind the ability to do things," in other words, the body is a tool for the mind. These two students' opinions seem to be contradicting one another. The answer could be, as many of the students love to say, "it depends." We can always find a clause to invalidate any theory, but I think asking people to take a firm stand is a great way to pick people's brains, find out, and, have them show themselves what they believe.

The body could be an obstacle for the mind under some circumstances and then a tool under others. If we set a goal in our mind, for example, to run a marathon, our body makes that goal a reality, with a lot of help from the mind's motivation. However, there's the other case that one of the students presented about wanting to fly, flight being a desire of the mind or imagination; however, the body is incapable of fulfilling this desire of the mind, this is where the body is holding the mind back, its obstacle.

Someone else in class said that the body is needed to express physical feelings. Are feelings physical? Is the only way to express our feelings physical? Are there certain feelings that can only be expressed physically? What if we are unable to express feelings physically? Does our mind/body find an outlet?

Nuns

Saturday I went to Santiago de Compostela, it's a city in Galicia and the Cathedral there is destination to many pilgrims. As legend has it, Saint James (Santiago) brought Christianity to Spain and he is allegedly buried in the Cathedral. The Way of Saint James, is a very popular pilgrimage for many people, Christians and non-believers alike.

I went to the city with Sally y los Intocables (I've mentioned my group before) and we visited the Cathedral and walked around the old streets enjoying the beauty of the town. Because of the heavily religious nature of the city, there are many convents and monasteries. One of the members of Sally y los Intocables has a sister who is a cloistered nun and we went to visit her. For those of you who don't know, a nun is a woman who has devoted her life to religion, however; cloistered nuns have very strict rules about the way their life is lived and a separation from the external world so as to not distract them from their life of prayer and devotion. Many of these nuns do a lot of work around the convent, for example, cooking and cleaning, they sew or repair clothing, they bake sweets to sell to the public through an enclosed lazy susan, etc. Ana had an appointment to see her sister and since we are her friends, we were allowed to go with her. We went in the visiting room and her sister was waiting, behind bars. In order to kiss us, she had to get up on the table (on her knees) that was on her side of the bars and we had to present our cheeks so she could kiss them, one cheek at a time. (In Spain the common greeting of friends and loved ones is dos besos, 2 kisses, one on each cheek.) We were in the visiting room for two hours, we had coffee and cookies that were made by the nuns, and talked and talked and talked. One of the nuns was from India, from the same city as the author of a book I had bought the previous night by chance. I showed her the book and her face lit up, she read the inner leaflet about the author and began reading the book. I told her to keep it. She said no no but I insisted she could keep it, I didn't want it. The Mother, or head nun, was also in the room and said "No, you won't keep it, you've read a lot in your life, what do you need to read more for?"

WOW! I felt bad, I wanted her to read the book, but my friends reassured me, this woman had chosen this life for herself and she knew what she was getting into, nobody forced her. I still felt bad. That sucks.

Just do it...

Nike really had a good thing going when they started that ad campaign.

How many times have you heard or said: "I would love to: be a _________________, do _______________, buy _______________, make __________________, eat at that restaurant, etc etc." We, myself included, make these statements about how it would be great if we could travel to this place or have this dream job or just ride a bicycle everyday in the sun, but when push comes to shove, we don't actually do it.

Then there are other people who do do it and they are ridiculed. "What does she/he think she's/he's doing?" "She/he should get a proper job." "She/he is wasting her/his time/money."

Why else do we live? Isn't our life defined by our actions and the decisions we make in our everyday lives? Nobody would have ever remembered Albert Einstein if he wasn't so darn persistent about his work. Any artist, creator, inventor will tell you that they have had to work through "failures" time and time again. But it pays to be persistent.

What I want to get out of this is support people in following their dreams. I don't like to see people not follow their dreams and I don't want to hear anybody not support me in mine. Anyone's lack of support for your dreams or mine comes from a place of their own personal insecurity and her/his not believing in her/himself. That's all I have to say about that.

So, like Nike says, Just do it. Train for that marathon, bake the cake, have the party, dye your hair, travel the world, fly a kite, learn to surf, start a blog, the list is endless, apply to grad school, learn to make wine, I can't tell you what your dreams are but I can certainly encourage you to follow them and listen to you talk about them. That's what I'm good at.

DO IT!!!!

Happy Valentimes Day

No, that's not a typo. That's what I called Valentine's Day when I was little because it made sense, the time of Valen. Valen meaning lots of love and chocolate. Works for me. I only wish this time was longer than one day.

With my students in class last week we made Valentines. It's not as popular of a holiday here as in the US so, as I'm an Ambassador of North American Culture, I decided it would be a fun activity. The students loved it, it was something new and different, and North American. I told the students they could make them for their friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, family, teachers, etc. Most of them made them for me, which was awesome! Here's a picture of all the Valentines, I posted on the wall above my bed.

One of my students asked me if he could write "I love me" on his Valentine. I said "OF COURSE!" What an awesome guy. I asked him if he liked Valentine's Day and he said "no, it's boring."

"Boring?" I asked, "Why?"

"Because I am bad with the women."

Lonely

I'd like to say I hope you never feel lonely. It's a very disagreeable feeling but it would be unrealistic for me to wish for you and I try to be a realist. I accept that we suffer in this life but I guess the difference between me and other people is I think suffering only makes the good, better. Alfred Lord Tennyson said "'Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." I read that when I was really young and it's stuck with me. I really believe it. Is it better if you don't know what you're missing? I remember playing a game as kids, we would ask each other, "If you had to choose one of the 5 senses to give up which would it be?" It's a tough question, maybe if you were born without a sense it wouldn't be as bad as losing it? But then if you were the person who had lost it, at least you would have spent part of your life enjoying that sense? I think what it boils down to is people who like to live safe or risk takers. A safe living person would prefer to have never had the sensation or to have never loved someone. A risk taker loves and lives because for an unknown amount of time, she/he enjoys something beautiful in life. Isn't that how you want to live?

I went hiking with some friends the other day. We hiked along the river Barbadiño, over moss covered rocks and under the shade of naked chestnut trees. The sun was out, which was a real treat for a Galician winter day. At one point, on our way back to the car, a couple of my friends striped down and went swimming in the river. On February 12, in the cold of winter in Northern Spain. I played the safe role and watched from the trail, dry and warm from the sunlight. They let out squeals of delight. Of life. They were living. I was not. When they got out of the river, they were refreshed and energized. The blood was rushing through their veins, oxygen and life. I felt so lethargic watching from the side of the river. The sun felt even better to them after having been in the cold water. They were only in the water for about 3-4 minutes. As we walked back to the car, I thought how cool that was. That's the life I strive to have, but sometimes I don't act on it. There are still parts of me that play it safe, but I want to try to overcome those feelings. This only reaffirms my belief that we "suffer" a little bit, and reap the benefits. Whether it be the euphoric feeling after going for a run or swimming in a cold river or driving the extra hour to see a friend, losing sleep to spend time with a loved one, you name it. The good things in life cost in one way or another. So do it. Live, love, suffer, feel pain and feel comfort. I hope you all do.

Here are some pictures from our hike:

A baby waterfall

Silver Wattle in bloom (also known as mimosa)

The trail

A part of the river and mossy rocks.

Beauty.

Apathetic Philosophy

So, as I've mentioned before, I help in a Philosophy class at one of my highschools. The class is taught in English and the teacher is an angel, there's no other way to put it. She has a really soft voice, she is very feminine and she owns a chocolate shop. She's the kind of person who could make you feel bad for being angry about something. I remember one time I was angry about something and I told her the story, her face turned upside down and her soft eyes pierced into my passionate, furious eyes. She told me she was personally sorry for whatever it was the other people had done to me that had made me upset. I felt like a jerk. I told her she didn't need to be sorry, it was probably something I had misunderstood or maybe I was having a bad day, or it was a cultural difference. I mean she's seriously just the sweetest thing that exists. When the students are lifeless and don't participate in class she doesn't scold them or criticize them, she insists that they are different from her other groups (normal teenagers) and maybe they don't talk so much because they are thinking. Really, we need more people like her.

Anyways, in class today she had listed on the board 3 categories: feeling, emotion and passion. Each of these had a philosophical definition, something along the lines of; feeling: incontrollable sentiment; emotion: a feeling accompanied with a physical sensation; and passion: something we cannot control, rather controls us. She had me write a list of words on the board and the students had to place them in their respective categories, according to the said definitions and their opinions. The list was something like:

love

joy

jealousy

hate

anger

lust

depression

compassion

After the words were categorized, we had a discussion about passion. My perceived definition of passion comes from things I am passionate about. I guess that means things/people I really like and would prefer to not live without. She asked the students to go around the room and say one thing they were passionate about. The student (and anal list-maker) in me got really excited, I was coming up with a list of things I was passionate about, but darnit, I could only choose one to share with the class, okay that's okay, there's the people I love, poetry, reading, writing, music, oh and then the types of music, Andrea Bocelli, Vivaldi, anyways, chocolate, cooking, making things for people, gardening, wine, traveling.....

She looked at the first student, "We'll start with you, please." He stared blankly at her and shrugged his shoulders. The room was silent for a bit. Then the angelic voice of the teacher came in, "Something you are passionate about, something you like to do on a weekend or a holiday." Again he sat silently and insisted he didn't know or didn't have anything. I turned around and said "SKATEBOARDING!" I had seen this kid on many occasions in a plaza near the old town skateboarding with friends, he usually has headphones on and when I wave to him, he doesn't even see me because he has one thing on his mind: skateboarding. You can see from his eyes the passion that consumes him as he rides and jumps and grinds and whatever else they call the cool stuff they do that I've always been envious of but too afraid to do. He shrugged and said "I guess."

"Next."

The next student had an answer right away, he said sweets. Right on! My kind of guy. He insisted that he had a passion for sweets and always had candy in his pockets. Turns out he did, the teacher asked him to empty his pockets and he had a bag of some sort of pink, sugary, rope-like concoction. Cool.

The next guy said sports.

The next student said nothing.

The following said nothing.

After that, music, and then nothing, again.

Out of a group of 7 students, only 4 had passions and 1 had to be told what it was?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I was appalled. I have noticed this before in another one of my classes of the same age group, they would be considered juniors in the American High School system and so they are 16-17 years in age. I mean maybe that was way long ago for me, but I remember being passionate about a ton of things, and I still am!

I was so surprised. I mean have things always been this way or is this a product of the society we now live in? I don't really care what the answer is, what I'm saying is I'm a passionate person and I'm proud, and I'm not going to change that!

The teacher, in her angelic form, said to the students who had no passions, "So what do you like to do on the weekend?"

"Surf the internet or go out with friends," answered one.

"Oh very good" said the teacher with a big smile on her face, her head tilted softly to the right. "If you had to choose between the two, which would you want to do more?"

"They're the same"

The teacher smiled, a kind, patient smile and said, "I am a very passionate person and I'm envious of you, you seem to have your lives very well balanced and you don't have a conflict of interest. For me, if I'm at home doing something, and a friend calls me to go out, I always want to go out!"

She was basically in a nice way telling them that they were lifeless creatures living for nothing, who seemingly had no opinions and didn't really care how life happened to them.

Sorry, I'm being mean.

I couldn't take it anymore "I think it's good to be passionate. What else do we live for if not to be passionate about the things we like?"

"Yes, but passionate people suffer more than non-passionate people" responded the teacher with a devastated look on her face.

"But they also enjoy life more"

"Suffering is very hard and not a pleasant thing."

"Suffering is just a part of life that we have to learn to deal with, nobody likes suffering but it's something we must accept."

The teacher's face lit up, okay class, who agrees with Sally and who agrees with me.

Of the 7, one agreed with me, one didn't know, one agreed with her, and the other 4 were in the middle.

Very lively and decisive group as you can see.

My belief was re-affirmed. I love life. I love to live and I love to be passionate about the things I like, for example my life, the sun, swimming, reading, talking to people, drinking wine and eating olives, chocolate, baking, making cards for people, listening to music I like, hiking, physically exerting myself, I sound like a classifieds ad so I'll stop, but you get the picture. Please, please, you don't have to be a show-off like me and be super passionate about 10 thousand things but at least find 1 or 2 things you think are worth doing on your day off, that put a fat smile on your face, that you look forward to, that keep your mind ticking, and pursue them!

Californication

When they first introduced me to their group of friends, Trevi smiled and said "Hoi Solly!," imitating my American accent in Spanish but speaking in English. "Califorrrrrrnication!!!!" (I put several r's to try to stress the fact that the r's were rolled). He touched my arm, did his little dance and started cracking up.

This was the first day I was inducted into the "Sally y los intocables" (Sally and the untouchables), our band. We will cover songs such as Californication and Ride Sally Ride, with incredible Spanish accents and the album photography will be various photos of us hiking, all in which Trevi has one leg lifted in the air, his signature pose.

The first time our group went hiking, we started out by having "Happy Coffee." Happy coffee is what Ana likes to have before hiking. It's a coffee and a Magdalena (a small, plain, Spanish muffin) to get you feeling warm and energized before hiking in the cold, sometimes wet, North-Western Iberian countryside. We did this in a teeny Portugese village, where all of the buildings were made of stone, and there was a central stone building in which bread was fired, it had no chimney, instead there was a black line showing where the smoke sat in the form of a uniform cloud at the upper quarter of the cottage, this upper portion is where they smoke chorizo and other meats for preservation. [Side note - I didn't bring a camera with me that day but the others did, so I will get pictures and add them later]. We finished our Happy Coffee and waited for the cows to cross so we could get back to our car. By the car there were sheep, a dog, chickens and a shepherd. The image was beautiful. It was really green, in between the stone bricks there was grass forcing its way through. A cow stopped for a drink of water at a public trough and one of the sheep looked at us as if we were strangers in its village. We certainly were. We got in the car and drove to the trail we'd be hiking. We hiked down to a waterfall and then up to the ruins of a Monastery from the 9th Century, yes, pictures will follow. After the hike we had lunch, the bread was dense, a dark khaki color and steam was creeping out of the basket; there was a red wine, a hard cheese and sausage. For the main course we had bacalao (cod) with potatoes, a very common Portugese dish and another meat dish which I am not quite sure what it was.

Throughout the day, I discovered that Trevi, and many other Spanish peoples' understanding of the word "Californication," which comes from the popular song, and album by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. is fornication in California. I had never thought of that. How many times had I heard the song, on the radio or at a friend's house? I always interpreted the song to mean "of California," like a way of life, a mentality, a state of mind. I really don't know what the Red Hot Chili Peppers intended with the song but trying to read the lyrics doesn't help me. They are quite ambiguous, genius if you ask me, but don't really answer Trevi and my uncertainties. Well, it's more of an uncertainty for me because Trevi doesn't care about what the Red Hot Chili Peppers nor I think the song means, he likes his definition. I have decided, well, as I always thought the song meant, that it was about the Californian way of life, furthermore; a love for one's state. It doesn't help that California is the best state to be from, but anyways. What I'm saying is there's something to be said about one's home. Where they were raised and sharing common beliefs, memories, interests with those people. It's like when you travel and you meet someone from your hometown, or when you are abroad and you meet a fellow country-person, or better yet, someone from your state or region or whatever you want to call it.

I love it here in Galicia and I love hiking with Sally y los intocables. I love meeting people and traveling and just discovering little things, but I will say, there is a fat part of my heart that belongs in California.

I love myself, I want you to love me

I am really blessed in my life. I won´t begin to rattle off my blessings publicly because I believe that would be bad form. What I do want to do is share a little something I´ve learned by living, traveling and thinking (something I do far too much). If you find someone in this small world that we live in, who: gets you (or at least is willing to try), respects you, has some similar interests and values, thinks you´re cute and can live with you; and assuming that all of these things are mutual, then please, for your sake and mine, be with them! It really doesn´t matter what their income is, what car they drive, their height, ethnic background or how many tattoos they have. Please, please don´t let your mom, your friends or your own prejudices and issues stop you from being with that person. It´s not worth it. This life is short, and we really don´t know when we will die. Really. I would love to die knowing I followed my heart and let my gut guide me in my decision making. If I died today (God forbid), I´m afraid I would not have fulfilled that dream. I have let my own insecurities and my emotional relationships influence some decisions in my life. Don´t worry though! Acceptance is the first step. Or is it acknowledgement? Or are they one in the same? Anyways, part of growing up is realizing we made mistakes and then part of being a mature person is learning from those mistakes. I´m working on that. Now, I don´t only mean this for romantic relationships, I´m talking about all relationships that we have with people. Eating a meal alone sucks, if you have a worthwhile friend or lover to share a meal, drink or just some time with, do!

As for the title of my post, it´s lyrics from a great song from the early 90´s, I Touch Myself by the Divinyls. I´m pretty sure you´ve heard it, but if not, YouTube it! Quite revolutionary. It also brings back some irreplaceable memories of a person I didn´t have the strength to keep in my life.

If I can't have an ocean, a river will do

I always heard that if you grow up near the ocean, you will get used to it, and then when you go somewhere, or live somewhere where you are not near the ocean, you will miss it and subconsciously search for it. I grew up on the West Coast, in California. West to me always meant the Pacific Ocean, and where the sun sets, East was the opposite direction and I usually had a pretty good idea how to orient myself. Now in Spain, I'm landlocked. There's a river, well there are several rivers, but the big one is the Miño, and I can orient myself with the river, it is usually to the north of me, except when I'm at work, then it's south of me. The river flows East to West, I recall because on my first day in Galicia, I took a train from Vigo, where I flew in. Vigo is coastal, and after a short bit on the train, we encountered a river, the Miño, and the train tracks followed along the river all the way to Ourense. There is nothing like living beside the ocean, nothing. Last year I lived in Del Mar, a 45 second walk from the beach, literally, I would leave my house, go down half a block, cross the street, go down one more block, and be on the soft sandy beach of Del Mar. I went to the beach quite frequently, sometimes two or three times a day. I remember thinking it gets cold here at night, so I would wear a thick fleece and a beanie and go anyways.

Now I'm in Galicia, and let me tell you I knew nothing of cold in Del Mar. I slept with the window open every night and I think we turned the heater one twice. In one year. It is currently 34˚F here and I can't seem to get warm. Anyways, I shouldn't complain, I'm alive and well, I get to live in a beautiful place near a beautiful river with amazing people. I miss the ocean but am glad to have this opportunity to miss it. My love for the ocean now comes from a place of yearning and absence, and what an amazing thing!

I've included pictures and will try to post more pictures because I've been getting requests for more photos from my dear followers. These pictures are old, do not be fooled by the sunlight because that is non-existent in this month of February. These pictures are from September but you can see the river, I took them from the train coming into the place I now call home, for the first time.

One of many regal looking bridges in Galicia

Babies

So I am in class right now, is it awful that I am blogging in class? My kids are doing pairwork. They had to draw a picture of their bedroom and then dictate to their partner to draw their room based on tehir description. They are 12 years old and believe that I don´t speak Spanish. I understand but play dumb, making them explain everything to me in their broken English. I think it does wonders for their language skills. They are hysterical. The boys are always kicking the chairs of the girls and the girls are trying really hard to pay attention to me, impress me and staring at my outfit. They always have something to say to one another about my hair, jewelry, shoes etc. Some kids are so desperately attention hungry. Is that a sign of something? Is it human nature or do they not receive enough attention at home? Do some people naturally need and thrive off of more attention than others? It´s really fascinating. This age in these people´s lives is extremely crucial. I hope I can be a positive force in their lives.

Peace.