You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar

I heard this saying the other day "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar."  I really like it.  You get more out of life if you're sweet than if you're bitter.  You may have heard people saying to "kill other people with kindness," which is a similar idea.

You know if things aren't going your way or you're in a sticky situation you could either yell and scream and have a bad attitude, or be nice and sweet about it and people are more inclined to be patient with you and listen to you because they don't feel like they're getting attacked and you have the potential (a much greater chance, actually) at getting what it is you want.

I really like this because it is true and a beautiful philosophy to live by.  I recognize that it is not easy, in fact I think that if you are human you find this task challenging at times.  However, I think it is rewarding if you do try it.  I guess you would catch more flies that way :).  

Movie - "The Sessions"

Oh. My. Lordy.  How refreshing!

I saw the movie "The Sessions" today.  It was fantastic.  It was provocative, romantic, real, sad, funny, raw, human and humane. It is based on the autobiographical writings by Mark O'Brien, a poet/writer who was not-quite-paralyzed from the neck down due to a bout of childhood polio.  He lives mostly in an iron lung and always on a gurney.  At 38, he sets out to lose his virginity and after consulting with his priest, decides to see a sex-therapist.  It challenges the conventional stigma surrounding the disabled and allows you to truly empathize with the guy.  The movie did a great job of bringing the characters to life - the relationships were real and you could genuinely relate, no phony business.

I think the actors were fantastic, John Hawkes plays Mark O'Brien and Helen Hunt is Cheryl Cohen-Green, the sex-therapist.   You really had a sense of empathy - both happy and sad, for Mark.  I will leave it at that, you ought to see the movie for yourself to truly experience it.  

Growing up

I don't know if it's that I'm growing up and I'm realizing that there is some crazy stuff in the world or if the world is getting weirder.

An anthropologist told me that people have been saying since the dawn of man (ok maybe not since the dawn of man, but since we have had written record of people), "men are starting to dress like women, women are starting to dress like men, we're losing our values, society is falling apart...blah blah"  So maybe I am just growing up and realizing that people are human and do stupid things.  The world is so huge and there are so many people out there...think about all of the people you know and then all of the different personalities/quirks they have...now multiply that by 7000000 to roughly give you the world's population (about 7.052 billion people, according to the US Census Bureau as of March 2012; this is also assuming you know 1000 people - I'm being generous with my estimate).  Now think that all of these people have individual personalities, problems, culture, religion, consciences, hurt, vengeance, karma, you name it, to give you...the world we live in.  It's no wonder we have people killing other people, leaving all their money to a stranger, torturing other people, falling in love, resolving to swim across various straits to "prove something," etc.  People are freaking rad.

Growing up is weird.  It's like shattering everything you always believed as a child except there is so much more cool stuff out there.

Humanity

Do we forget that we are human?  Is it a product of where we live?  Our society?  Is it cultural?  Do some cultures have a better grip on what it is to be human? Or how to live life?  Does the sound of a cello not stop your heart from beating?  Human tears - salty human tears.  The sound of a man's baritone voice, unwavering as he belts out a ballad of a lost love.  A baby.  People in love.  The sunset.    Dancing so much you get dizzy and lose yourself in your partner's arms.  Jumping in a cold lake.  The sun on your bare skin.  The eminent beat of a drum.  Or a heart beat! Freckles.  The way fire dances in the night.  A good glass of champagne.  Stories you get lost in.  The smell of a jasmine vine on a warm Spring day.  The physique of an athlete.  The foam of a latté.

I guess this just turned into a short list of the countless things I find beautiful.  You're also on that list :)

Don't ever lose your innate ability to appreciate life.  

Passion

So I find it really interesting the conversation surrounding "passion."  My friend, Merriam-Webster, defines passion as "a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept" or "an object of desire or deep interest" (source) (there are some other definitions for the word but for the most commonly used context, I think this is appropriate).  

Now with that said, I would like to talk a little bit about passion.  There is a Spanish song by Bebo and Cigala, a Spanish singer and a Cuban guitarist that sings of a man that is in love with two women.  One is his wife, the mother of his children and the other is the passionate love of his life.  I think of this and I think, why can't those 2 people be the same person?  But then I think of the people I have known and the conversations I have had and many people do not have the courage to pursue passion.  It is like living a convenient life, an easy life.  It is easy or safe to just settle but to have passion you have to suffer.  I think in the society we live in we view suffering as a bad thing but I think that one must suffer to experience the good things in life.  Suffering is another emotion we must endure to feel other sentiments in life.  I don't believe that you would feel truly happy having not felt sad.  Why can't the woman you're married to, the mother of your children also be the woman you are passionately in love with? Why cannot people be happily passionate, why must we settle, why can't we take risks?  I understand why but I don't know why so many people just accept this.   It is easier.  But do you want your life to be easy or thrilling?  Do you want to wake up for the rest of your life just going through the motions or do you want to be happy, excited, passionate about your life?  Crying isn't the worst thing in the world, at least you got to experience something so meaningful in your life that it brought you to tears.   

I could go off on another tangent about the misconception of passion and anger in our society or the poor reception of passion but I will leave that for another post.  I can't tell you the number of times people have said (about me) "what's wrong with you?" or "Why are you so angry?"  It's called passion!! A reason to live something worth my energy, my breath, my time! 

I will leave y'all with my thoughts.  I hope you find passion in your life, I hope you have the courage to pursue your passion and I hope you never settle for anything below your standards for yourself.  When you put your head down on that pillow at night I hope you are happy with the decisions you made during the day or at least can understand why you made those decisions, if you're unhappy I hope you don't repeat those mistakes.  

Rainy Day

I am a self-admitted sun bunny, desert rat, you name it...I'm sure there are a thousand ways to describe us sun addicts but I must admit, the rain is charming.  This morning when I left the house it was pitch black and  unusually warm.   You could tell the barometric pressure was low.  Some people say you can smell when it's going to rain, but maybe it is just feeling the pressure change in your nose or in your head, I don't know.  I went to exercise at the gym and when I came out, it was raining.  It was awesome.  I feel like the world slows down when it rains, maybe people drive slower or maybe it causes us to see things from a different perspective but it was really beautiful to watch the world go by.  I did my normal commute (about 7 minutes, including parking time) and was quite taken back by how different everything appeared all wet and grey.  Rainy days are great for fireplaces and books, hot chocolate and blankets and quiet classical music humming from a muffled record player.  Hopefully by the time I get home in the evening it will still be raining and I can cuddle up under a blanket with a good book and eventually fall asleep to the pitter-patter of the rain on the roof...