Family

Family.

What images and emotions does that word evoke for you?

For me, I think holidays, my parents, my brother, my cousins, aunts/uncles, stress, pressure, eating, fights, love, happiness, hurt, the list goes on and on.

I think it's safe to say that the majority of people take their family for granted. Yes we fight, but at the end of the day, the people we are fighting with are still our family. It's hard. We have expectations for our family members. Maybe unreasonable ones. Sometimes we let them slide, time and time again. Sometimes we use and abuse them. Underappreciate them, walk all over them or simply forget to tell them how we feel about them. I catch myself getting really frustrated with my family sometimes and I later look back and realize that I was not being fair. I wouldn't do that to my friends or even a stranger, so why would I allow myself to do it with my family?

I just want to put this little note out there to remind myself of the importance of my family in my life. I'm super blessed to have these wonderfully flawed people in my life that keep me sane and drive me insane. God knows what I do to/for them.

I love you, fog

Anybody who is familiar with West Coast climate will appreciate this.

I just spent the past 3 weeks between New York City, Washington D.C. and Philadelphia playing tourist while visiting friends. The weather was miserable. One day in Philadelphia it was dumping rain, but hot at the same time, in fact we were in the middle of a thunder storm but could not keep cool despite my being in a tank top and sandals and soaking wet! In Washington D.C., the buildings are air conditioned excessively. I believe this is unhealthy, to require a sweater to sit at your desk and then go outside and sweat instantaneously only to enter the next building and cool down far too quickly due to the cold air blasting in your face accelerating the natural process of sweating as a cooling process for the body. New York City was just muggy and hot. I could not escape the humidity, it was penetrating. You inhale and it's like you don't get enough air, it's suffocating.

I was so excited to be coming back to California, and better yet, flying into San Francisco! I had my face pressed to the window of the airplane in anticipation, turning back every 3 minutes or so to express my joy to the guy sitting next to me. You can't imagine how big the smile on my face was when we were near landing and I couldn't see a thing due to the fog, it was like you had just given me a dark chocolate mousse cake and a bottle of chilled champagne. (Maybe that's too personal of a reference. Anybody who knows me, or well, no, that's just my life.) Upon my exiting the plane and walking through the ramp connecting the plane to the gate, I had to put on my fleece! Unlike my transfer in Kansas City where I stepped off the plane and was suddenly hot, sticky and out of breath until I entered the gate, only to be shot with blasts of forced cold air from the AC vents, at which point I needed the fleece. San Francisco was naturally cold, yes! I practically ran down to baggage claim, the luggage had not yet arrived and so I bolted outside and just breathed a breath of fresh air, and then another, and another all with a goofy smile on my face.

I collected my luggage, got in my friends car and continued with this air of climate-induced euphoria as we made the drive down to Pacific Grove. As we approached the Monterey Bay, the clear blue skies turned gray, again causing this silly smile to come across my face.

Maybe I have this association with my childhood, with my family, with my friends, with memories of being a teenager or with home but fog has become something I absolutely love. The fog here is not super bad, it starts your day off fresh, cool and energizing only to burn off and give you an even more beautiful day. The landscape is made for this duality. The oak and the pine trees juxtaposed with the ocean change in color with the change in the backdrop which is the sky (or topdrop, I guess as it's the sky but that word doesn't exist.)

It's great to be home.

Famous 4th Street Delicatessen

Some friends and I were visiting a mutual friend in Philadelphia last weekend. Before I continue with the story, I have to tell you that my friends and I don't mess around when it comes to food. We are professional eaters and travel accordingly.

With that said:

The friend who is studying and living in Philadelphia took the four of us to Famous 4th Street Delicatessen (http://famous4thstreetdelicatessen.com/). He warned us not to eat beforehand, as the portions were huge.

We entered the deli and the first thing that came to my mind was that it was clean and inviting. It was a black and white checkerboard motif with photos of celebrities dining at the deli and black and white photos telling the restaurant's past. We sat down and were greeted with a bowl of "Health Salad," a pickled cabbage slaw topped with several big slices of dill pickles.

What remains of the pickles on top of a bed half-eaten bed of "Health Salad"

The waitress was not only super friendly but also, honest and took care of us magnificently. She told us what their most popular dishes were, both of which we ended up ordering: the challah French Toast and the Corned Beef Hash. We also ordered a side of Tsimmes, I wanted to know what it was and she described it as a vegetarian kind of sweet stew made of yams, carrots, prunes and raisins. It sounded great. The Corned Beef Hash came with 2 medium easy eggs on top and a side of 2 thick slices of nutty, grainy toast. The French Toast came with 4 potato pancakes. And I had bottomless coffee, which was never empty.

Mountain of Challah French Toast, this was incredible. I must admit, it was my first time having Challah French Toast and I was totally sold. Due to the soft, thick nature of the Challah, it retains it's sweet softness on the inside and adopts a thin, crisp, outer shell due to the fried egg. And of course, dusted with powdered sugar, how could you go wrong?

Corned Beef Hash with 2 over-medium eggs on top, I'm afraid to say that this photo does not do the size of this dish justice. The heaping mound of food was a good 6 inches high, at it's highest point. It was a mix of potatoes, tomatoes, onions and finely chopped corned beef. Definitely a bang for your buck, we hardly put a dent in it and had to take about 3/4 of it home, luckily the waitress had warned us and had even assured us that it would freeze well!

Tsimmes! A hot mound of cooked yams, carrots, prunes, raisins and walnuts. Caution: prunes contain pits. In the background you can see 2 of the potato pancakes

Wait until you see the pastry case. The site of the cakes was incredible. Each standing at about 10 inches high and arranged beautifully, one next to the other begging to be eaten.

On the way out, I saw a couple eating a pastrami sandwich. As my friend described it, it was more like, "would you like some bread with your meat." There was literally 4 times more pastrami than bread. That also looked delicious but there was no way we could eat anymore.

If you ever find yourself in Philly, you MUST eat here. But, you've been warned, the portions are huge and delicious, so don't eat before and don't expect to eat much for a long time after.

Behavior

So I think about our behavior as human beings in this society that we've created. Behavior, as I see it, is instinct which is then refined by religion, culture, experience, age, tradition, the way we were raised, and pop culture; which I guess could be considered a sub-category of culture but I tend to use pop-culture as my guide of "How Not to Behave," but I digress.

I got to thinking about this today when I was thinking about judging people. I was raised Catholic and was constantly told, in that environment, to not judge people. Judging is bad and there is only one judge for us all upon our death. We have all heard countless stories about judging someone based on their appearance and then later repenting upon finding out that despite their wearing rags, they have a fortune. Or treating a stranger poorly until it is revealed that he or she is some high-profile celebrity or big shot, at which point we change our behavior towards him or her, suddenly showing him or her more respect, wanting more attention or even apologizing for our "normal" behavior to him or her, claiming "I had no idea it was you!" That is bogus. I firmly believe that we can judge people based on how they treat us. I almost want to say based on how they treat others but that might be a stretch because we don't know what they are going through with other people to cause them to behave that way.

Example. If I meet somebody for the first time and they are rude to me and show no interest in having a conversation with me despite being a friend of a friend, I can judge that they are an unfriendly person, or I can be more optimistic and conclude that they are not having a good day, or that I have caught them at a bad moment. I try not to judge people on their clothes, hairstyle, job, ethnicity or education. (However, all of these things can result in great conversation topics.) I think we should treat all people with a basic respect that can then grow or shrink based on the interaction we have with them. Take for example, manners. I like being polite because I think it's a part of the refinement of our behavior that distinguishes us and it makes life easier at no additional cost to us, except maybe a smile or a kind word. Plus, weren't we all told in kindergarten to treat others the way we wanted to be treated and I like for people to be polite to me so I am going to be polite to them. Furthermore, I have found that the amount of goodness in the world is abundant and if you are just good to others, it will be reciprocated to you in the form of say a free dessert at a restaurant or a job offer or just about anything you may need in your life that other people have and can help you with.

I'm going to keep this short but my moral is to just be good to others. It makes you feel good and you would be surprised by the connections you may make or what you have in common with others. Also, we all have bad days and a little compassion and understanding could make someone's bad day not so bad.

:)

Rodents

I really like that there are rats in the NY subway. Maybe that's not sanitary, because the rats carry diseases and maybe it's cruel because they often get run over by the trains and maybe it's weird that I like that rodents run on train tracks under one of the busiest cities in the world. But I think it's cool that in such a seemingly lifeless environment, these creatures live and procreate, despite the rodenticide that the city sets out to try to eliminate this problem. If you're not looking for them, you probably won't even see them, which is also a lesson in being alert and attentive. Cool stuff.

Money doesn't matter

I love when popular singers sing about money not being important. I disagree with them. You would be quite foolish to believe that in the society that we live, you would be able to survive without money. Maybe it's an unfortunate conclusion, but it's the reality. What I do believe is that it's absolutely terrible to obsess over money. Some people get so caught up in money and having an abundance of it that they lose their morals, values and/or beliefs in pursuit of wealth, only to find themselves completely consumed with obtaining more and more that they end up not enjoying what they have. Or never even realizing this unconquerable desire and die miserable.

Let me go back to what I said about popular singers' message to us common-folk. Of course they tell us to be happy without money, as they go home to a multi-million dollar home, multi-car garages filled with cars with tanks full of gas, I don't think they pay to fly all over the world for their concerts, or even if they did, the return from the concert makes it very worthwhile, and don't worry, you too would look like a Barbie doll if you had a personal chef and trainer who came to you rather than you chasing after them, ensuring your proper nourishment and daily exercise tailored to your personal needs. All of this costs money, and a lot of it. And where do they get that money? Recording silly songs telling us to be happy and not worry about a thing, so long as we buy their $18 CD, to support their lavish lifestyle. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy good music and I support the arts, however; one thing is supporting an artist, listening to music that people spend hours upon hours of practice to refine their talent, and another thing is paying a good looking, super done up person who had the courage to perform and found him or herself at the right place at the right time, a great deal of money for a record or even an more absurd amount of money to attend what society calls a concert. This phenomenon is something I personally don't understand. Several thousand people gathered in a huge park or better yet, a closed entity, all hysterically screaming, sweating and pushing themselves forward to be closer to this fan-entitled immortal being, aka, singer/band. From an outsiders' perspective don't these people look absurd? They are screaming to the point of unconsciousness pushing other people, often enraging themselves and maybe even engaging in brawls and fights! In 2 hours these singers make how much money? I don't think they pay to rent the facility out, in fact, they are paid to perform. They probably make more money in one concert than many people make a year working full time. That's one concert, but they go "on tour." Jackpot. We pay for that. We, as a mass are their employer, bit it doesn't work like the traditional employer that you may be used to. Be at work five days a week, on time, limited vacation, limited time for sick leave, drink your coffee at your desk while working, etc. We, individually, pay for 2 hours in a lifetime (or, repeat offenders attend multiple concerts), only to be extremely pleased with the work we see and unable to reprimand our employers if they are late or don't fulfill or standards.

Now, again, don't get me wrong listening to live music can be very entertaining and enjoyable but these concerts that are so popular don't make sense to me.

You live and you learn

You live and you learn, hurt, though it may. Today someone told me you make many mistakes when you are young. I think we make many mistakes period but when we are younger we haven't learned from our mistakes quite yet. Or we are just so full of life and energy that we do things without thinking. Or we are still naive and have different expectations of people and life.

I learned a lesson from a mistake I made today. Well, I saw and acknowledged that I had made a mistake, only time will tell if I learn the lesson.

Sense and Sensitivity

Today when I stepped into the elevator to go downstairs, I was hit with the overbearing smell of old lady perfume. It was the same perfume that one of my female relatives used to wear when I was a child in Syria. I started to cry, I remembered hot summers in Damascus, eating ice cream and going for evening walks with my aunt or great aunt and having that smell, incessantly in my nostrils. It even affected the taste of my ice cream. I thought, the world is cruel. I am not with my aunt right now, nor am I seven years old anymore or eating ice cream on a hot summer evening.

I went for my run and pondered the conclusion I had come to and came to a new conclusion. I don't like negativity and I decided that the world is not cruel. How great it is that our senses can trigger memories with such vivid reality that we would not have normally remembered without that whiff of asphalt, the breeze that blows our hair in our face, the taste of sangria or the deep bellow of a violoncello. I wrote in my journal, "our senses are so sensitive," I leaned back and laughed to myself. I had never realized that sense was the root of sensitive. I'm sure I could have told you that if asked but I had never made the connection before. I got to thinking more about it and it makes perfect sense, our senses are sensitive, and that's what's so wonderful about them. That's what makes them our senses, because they are sensitive. They are ours and nobody feels them other than ourselves, they are tied to our history, our past, our experiences, memories and everything that makes us us. I decided that I am glad my senses are so sensitive, I am blessed to have had such wonderful experiences that can so easily be called upon by such simple a thing, as the smell of perfume.

Wilde Quote

Fellow readers, I really do apologize for my absence, my brother was visiting me and then we were joined by our parents at which point we did a mini tour of Spain after I finished work and moved out of my apartment. As you can imagine, it was hectic.

When I was in Madrid with my brother, we stayed with a friend of a friend and on his bookshelf I found Oscar Wilde´s "The Picture of Dorian Gray." I had picked that book up in the same apartment in December and was captivated by the first page but abandonded the book due to upcoming travels. This time, the owner of the book told me to take it and get it back to him whenever I got the chance. He said "to share a book with someone is splendid. To know that someone else is getting use out of the book is satisfying. Otherwise I feel like it´s a waste of space." Cool philosophy!

So now that my family has left, and my life has settled down, I am reading again. I just wanted to share this quote with you because I can really relate to it.

"You know more than you think you know, just as you know less than you want to know." -Lord Henry, pg 28 of Wilde´s "The Picture of Dorian Gray."

I often feel this way, ignorant, there´s so much to know and so little time and I want to be an expert on bee keeping and wine production and speak several languages and astraunomy and biology and you get the picture. However, that doesn´t take away from what I do know, which I often forget.

I think curiousity is a wonderful feeling that we should all strive to keep alive until we die. Otherwise, what are we doing here if not learning and sharing with others what we know, and re-evaluating what we know and listening to others.....?

Galician Cherries

I am always surprised by the fertility of the land here. Well, it rains all the time and for a person coming from California and Syria, this abundant water is incredible to me.

Sunday I went to a friend´s house and she showed me their garden. They had planted (and growing) there: lettuce, spinach, leeks, onions, blackberries, raspberries, tomatoes, cherries, apples, nectarines, hazelnuts, walnuts, oranges, olives, rosemary, thyme, lemon thyme, squash, pumpkins, eggplant, artichokes, and I´m sure I´m forgetting something but you get the picture. This further proves that water is life. There is water here and sun as well, along with good soil, and voilá...food!

Yesterday I went to have lunch with one of my Galician Mommies, I have two :). She brought me a plastic bag full of cherries from her tree. After my lunch of tortilla española with fresh bread, tuna and peppers, I had a café con leche and then sat in the sun with my mamita and ate fresh, homegrown cherries! I just wanted to share that with everybody because I keep getting requests for updates and you guys just want to know about my life, so there you have it, a small detalle (detail) of my life here.

Un beso.

It´s been a while

Excuse my absence. Theobroma has been inactive due to my incessant traveling and lack of internet.

I´m writing today, a bit sporadically, because I have received a lot of complaints for not writing. I want to comment about having a positive attitude. Today the husband of my roommate told me that if somebody punched me in the face on the street I would forgive them saying it was an accident. He thinks I´m too positive.

I also want to throw this out there as some food for thought, I came to the conclusion today that the way we spend our money and the attitude we have towards money reflects our personality. For example, I spend a lot, arguably all of my money, on traveling, chocolate and other people. I think that´s suitable for my personality. What do you spend your money on? And by my definition, how would that describe you?

Today I am going with some co-workers to lunch in the beautiful stone village of Allariz that is built along a river.

Tomorrow I will be heading to the beach with some friends who have been telling me that Galician beaches are better than Californian beaches. I think that´s quite a statement, I will go, see for myself and report back to all of you, hopefully with pictures.

Be happy.

These are the days

On my walk to school today, I caught myself thinking "those were the days," about my days at University. I always swore to myself that I wouldn´t say that. It always upset me when I caught grown-ups saying "those were the days...(sigh)...when I was thin/happy/in shape/when I went out/when I was beautiful etc. It always annoyed me. I decided from a young age that I wouldn´t be one of those people. Every age is different and every stage of your life can be fabulous, if you let it. I´m optimistic but I´m also realistic and I understand that yes, we go through rough patches and hard times, but that´s natural and I believe that how you react to hardships and struggles is what defines you as a person.

I told myself, in the future I will probably look back nostalgicly and say "those were the days" about now, my life at 22 in Ourense, Spain. I came to the conclusion to adopt the philosophy of these are the days, yes, these are the best days of my life because the past is gone, the future is uncertain, and all we have is the present.

Hay que vivir (one must live)

Hay que vivir. Hay que + the infinitive form of the verb in Spanish is One must...

The title of my post today is "one must live." It has become my favorite phrase in Spanish.

Last night in Ourense it rained all night. I woke up to the sound of the rain several times through the night and what a beautiful thing. It has been raining on and off since Friday, and now, as it's Tuesday, it is still raining. Today my students had an exam and my boss told me that I didn't need to come to my classes as they had exams and I had planned, with one of my co-worker friends to go on a hike, she finishes work early on Tuesdays and as I didn't have work today due to exams, we thought we'd take advantage of our day and go for a hike. Despite the rain, we were both willing and eager to go hiking. We drove to the nearby town of Allariz, parked and started walking along the river. We took umbrellas but after about 3 minutes of walking with an umbrella, I got annoyed and put it away, as did my friend. I hadn't brought an umbrella with me as I think they are extremely obnoxious, but my friend had brought me one and told me "I knew you weren't going to bring one for yourself." I guess I'm that obvious.

We hiked for about 3 hours along the river, climbing up stone walls to avoid the overgrown riverbanks and through mud and marsh. It was beautiful. We saw ducks swimming and watched the rain penetrate the river with numerous drops. We felt the cool rain drip on our heads and down our faces as our bodies were warm with sweat from the hike. Afterwards, we went to a bar for a glass of wine and a pincho (tapa) of bread with a sardine. Delicious. We had a cool, crisp, dry, Albariño wine (white).

Then we went to a restaurant for an amazing 3 course lunch, where we split a bottle of wine and then enjoyed café con leche (coffee with milk; a strong, baby latte). We had an amazing conversation and toasted about 15 times, to life, to love, to living, to the rain, to feeling alive, to feeling.....

I feel that there are many people out there who are not really alive, and what a pity that is. We have one life, so far as I know, and why not enjoy it? Hay que aprovechar. (One must take advantage)

Think less, do more

I am a huge planner. I love to-do lists and thinking about how I will organize my day or my travels or anything. As much as this is comforting to me and the way I am used to doing things, I recognize that it is important to sometimes just do. Often times we talk ourselves or think ourselves out of an idea that we are excited about and truly want to pursue. So I think we should plan when needed but know when to let go and just do. I can´t tell you when that is but it´s best to follow your heart.

The Secret Life of Bees

I just read the book The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd.

What I love about reading books, stories, etc., is that they have a completely unique effect on each person. When you read a book, you bring to it all of your life and experiences. You relate to the book by what you know, your beliefs. And how the story affects you could be completely different from how it affects the next person. Something that could make you cry could make another person laugh. Reading a story is an experience, at least for me. I develop relationships with the characters, relating to some, disliking others and hoping the best for others. I remember situations I have been in in my life that are similar to what the characters are going through or I put myself in their position, trying to think how I would behave. I laugh, cry and crinkle my brow when necessary. I could not completely relate to everything in this book but I thought about it and I related on an emotional level, but not to the experiences.

This book is very well written. What I love about it is that it is so real. It does not try to hide the ugly truth that exists yet shows that beauty can come from even the ugliest of situations. It taught me to be open to life and to think outside of the box. We can find happiness in the most unexpected places, we just have to be open to it.

I read, and really like the quote "The mind is like a parachute, it works best when opened" by Frank Zappa. I thought it fit to part of the moral I made of this story and serves as a great life philosophy.

Blind for a Meal

I saw in my Berlin welcome card discount book an advertisment for "unsicht-Bar" reading: "Eating in total darkness is an exciting and unique experience - and a truly unforgettable event! During the evening you will be looked after by our blind and partially sighted staff."

Cool!

I suggested it to my travel companion and he was not excited about it. He thought it sounded weird. Weird is one if those words I don't really understand. Yes this place is not normal, but then, what is normal? I guess eating dinner in pitch black, out at a restaurant is not "normal," but either is jumping off of a bridge with a cable attached to you but I know plenty of people who have done that! I flagged the page in my book and kept reading.

Later in the day, as we walked through a park behind the Brandenburg Gate I said "Okay, I know you don't really want to go to the blind restaurant but I really want to and I'm going to make you." He laughed and said "I think it's going to be really weird, but I want to go."

Way to go "open to try new things" even though they are "weird!"

We arrived and put our coats away and were given a menu written in a riddle, giving vague clues as to what the meal would be. The menus were titled vegetarian, from river and sea, poultry, etc.

We both chose from river and sea. We were met by our blind waitress, Angela who gave us directions as to how things would work. She had one of us put our hands on her shoulders and the other put his/her hands on the others shoulders. She led us into the dining room and when we arrived at our table she took me by the hand and showed (had me feel) the table. We were at that point disconnected from our arm-shoulder chain and my friend said "Wait! Uh, I've lost you!" in a very scared tone. I thought it was super cool because you are forced to rely on someone else for help and even though we knew that this blind feeling was temporary, we freaked out equally.

I felt uncomfortable. I was a bit nauseous and under my ears were tight, right at my jaw. My eyes straining to search for sight, to no avail.

We were brought our first course, salad and more than being delicious, it was a spectacular sensation tasting food that you could not see, nor had prior knowledge as to what it was.

Angela checked on us frequently announcing her presence at the side of the table so as to not frighten us. We spoke a lot. I don't mean over-dinner conversation, I mean with Angela. She would ask if we were finished eating, she would tell us that she was going to take our plate and from what side. It was an amazing lesson in communication.

Afterwards I remember feeling extremely thankful for my eyesight and just everything. Both my friend and I were shocked and impressed by the experience. If you ever have the chance to do something like this, I highly suggest it.

Night life

Last night my friend and I were walking around the Casco Viejo (old part of town) talking and taking pictures. She was taking pictures and I was talking, what´s new? We were standing in a plaza looking up at the Cathedral when a man started to walk towards us. He saw we were taking pictures and asked if we wouldn´t mind taking his picture and then erase it, just so he could see himself. We did.

When he saw his picture he was really surprised. Apparently he used to have really long hair and he had just cut it. He told us that he was an alcoholic and lived on the streets. He talked to us for about an hour telling us about his children, how proud he was of them, he cried telling us about his family. He showed us a deep, stapled scar he had on his arm. Of course there was a story behind it. He wanted to stop his girlfriend who is addicted to drugs from buying drugs. He positioned himself in her route so she would have to see him as she passed to buy drugs and there he cut his arm. He passed out and woke up with her in the ambulance. He said he succeeded, he stopped her from buying drugs. It was a small victory, but a victory nontheless.

He told us about his past and about how he lives on the streets. He said when the people he loves are happy, he is happy. He lives for people. He thanked us time and time again for listening to us.

I thought it was a pleasure, we as people, are here for each other. We are social beings and thrive on speaking to one another, being heard, seeing emotion in the eyes of our audience.

What I started thinking was, what does it take for us to realize these basic things in life, like being happy, living for those we love and not obsessing over the little things that don't actually matter? Does it take losing our job, our money, our house to realize that those things are important for our life but do not define why we live? Shouldn't we try to be happy while we have these things and/or in the midst of any crisis, which is when we need it the most?

People forget that we're going to die

I seriously am bombarded with philosophical questions all the time. I mean maybe it's me because I think a lot or maybe it's the people I hang out with or maybe I read into things too much...

Today I was giving a private English lesson to a woman, people in Spain like to have these conversation classes to talk and practice their English. One of the really important parts of learning a foreign language is practice. I mean anybody can study grammar but you have to listen and speak to actually be able to speak. And native English speakers are hard to come across in my small city of Ourense, so I have lots of people who like to talk to me in English.

One of my students is literally a doll. She's my mother's age and just full of life and thoughts and opinions. I normally bring with me questions to stimulate conversation, sometimes about travel, love, life, money, work, etc. Each week a new theme. We have never finished one list of questions because she just goes off on tangents about one thing and her thoughts on love, how we should live, how people are stupid (generally speaking), etc.

Today our topic was money. Her response to one of my questions was "people forget that we are going to die and we are here temporarily, if they are reminded of that, they will live their lives differently." I LOVE IT.

I think people need to not obsess about things so much. Let go and live! Take a step back for a second, what are you doing with your life? Are you happy? Is what you're stressing about going to matter in 30 minutes? Tomorrow? In a year? LET GO.

Monkey See, Monkey Do

This video was played in my Philosophy class. It seems to be an Australian ad campaign about parenting and the responsibility of adults/parents and their tremendous influence on children, which more often than not, is subconscious and more detrimental than we think.

The video was played twice, I didn't watch it the second time because it was repulsive to me. I guess that means it succeeded in its purpose because most ads and media are aimed at our senses. They attempt to "shock and awe," and that, this one did.

After watching the video, the class split into pairs and was asked to answer 3 questions:

1. How did you feel about this video? Please recall specific scenes.

2. Do you think you influence anybody with your actions?

3. Do you agree with the message of the video: "children see, children do?"

Here are the responses of my students, 17 and 18 year old Spanish students:

1. Rage, anger, disappointment, helplessness, sadness, it's wrong, terrible

2. Most of the students thought they influenced their younger siblings and/or cousins. One student disagreed and said he influenced everybody he spoke to.

3. All of the students agreed with the message of the video.

The teacher then posed the question, do people influence children more positively or negatively? All of the students said negatively, except one student, the same student who said that he believed he influenced everybody he talked to. He said they were equal. I agree with him and want to expand on what he said, adding my own thoughts. I think children are sponges, they are born as blank slates and absorb from their environment. "Good" and "bad" are a bit abstract and their definitions can vary, depending on whom you ask. I think we can all agree that the scenes shown in this video are bad, a child smoking a cigarette, a child throwing rocks at a caged dog, a child flipping the bird, etc. What this video failed to show is a mother listening to her child tell her stories, or a father on a bicycle ride with his child, a grandparent reading a story to their grandchild or a neighbor teaching a child how to bake cookies. Patience, love, the desire to teach and entertain younger generations.

Negativity sells and is more outrageous than positivity. It is also more harmful and thus we should be conscious of the impacts we have on those around us. We should also be aware of how positive actions affect others, smiling at someone could make their day. We never know what our neighbor, classmate, colleague, etc. is going through in their personal life. A little bit of patience and understanding could give them the peace of mind, encouragement and strength to face their struggle. Or maybe your neighbor, classmate or colleague is not going through any problems, but seeing your smiling face everyday puts them in a good mood, that good mood causes them to smile at another person and look at that chain reaction! I guess it's a little more work to be positive but the effects are endless. I'm sure we've all been the recipient of a random act of kindness. I'm also sure we've all witnessed unnecessary outrage. It's just up to us to make conscious decisions about how we want to live. We define ourselves by the decisions we make and our actions. It IS conscious decision and I think it's a lifelong commitment at attempting to be a good person, having patience with others and being willing to help. We will all need help one day and we will also at point in our lives be able to help others. Let's take advantage of what we have, and do what we can to make the world a tiny bit better.

I believe I can fly

This philosophy class of mine is very thought-provoking and has been the motivation behind many of my posts. So yet again, other thoughts that came to me from things the students said, which got me thinking, and here I am writing about it.

We were talking about Functionalism, Dualism, Personalism, and Materialism with respect to different schools of thought about our mind, body and soul; whether they exist; if they are one in the same; etc.

One student commented that "The body is an obstacle for the mind," and another said, "The body gives our mind the ability to do things," in other words, the body is a tool for the mind. These two students' opinions seem to be contradicting one another. The answer could be, as many of the students love to say, "it depends." We can always find a clause to invalidate any theory, but I think asking people to take a firm stand is a great way to pick people's brains, find out, and, have them show themselves what they believe.

The body could be an obstacle for the mind under some circumstances and then a tool under others. If we set a goal in our mind, for example, to run a marathon, our body makes that goal a reality, with a lot of help from the mind's motivation. However, there's the other case that one of the students presented about wanting to fly, flight being a desire of the mind or imagination; however, the body is incapable of fulfilling this desire of the mind, this is where the body is holding the mind back, its obstacle.

Someone else in class said that the body is needed to express physical feelings. Are feelings physical? Is the only way to express our feelings physical? Are there certain feelings that can only be expressed physically? What if we are unable to express feelings physically? Does our mind/body find an outlet?

Nuns

Saturday I went to Santiago de Compostela, it's a city in Galicia and the Cathedral there is destination to many pilgrims. As legend has it, Saint James (Santiago) brought Christianity to Spain and he is allegedly buried in the Cathedral. The Way of Saint James, is a very popular pilgrimage for many people, Christians and non-believers alike.

I went to the city with Sally y los Intocables (I've mentioned my group before) and we visited the Cathedral and walked around the old streets enjoying the beauty of the town. Because of the heavily religious nature of the city, there are many convents and monasteries. One of the members of Sally y los Intocables has a sister who is a cloistered nun and we went to visit her. For those of you who don't know, a nun is a woman who has devoted her life to religion, however; cloistered nuns have very strict rules about the way their life is lived and a separation from the external world so as to not distract them from their life of prayer and devotion. Many of these nuns do a lot of work around the convent, for example, cooking and cleaning, they sew or repair clothing, they bake sweets to sell to the public through an enclosed lazy susan, etc. Ana had an appointment to see her sister and since we are her friends, we were allowed to go with her. We went in the visiting room and her sister was waiting, behind bars. In order to kiss us, she had to get up on the table (on her knees) that was on her side of the bars and we had to present our cheeks so she could kiss them, one cheek at a time. (In Spain the common greeting of friends and loved ones is dos besos, 2 kisses, one on each cheek.) We were in the visiting room for two hours, we had coffee and cookies that were made by the nuns, and talked and talked and talked. One of the nuns was from India, from the same city as the author of a book I had bought the previous night by chance. I showed her the book and her face lit up, she read the inner leaflet about the author and began reading the book. I told her to keep it. She said no no but I insisted she could keep it, I didn't want it. The Mother, or head nun, was also in the room and said "No, you won't keep it, you've read a lot in your life, what do you need to read more for?"

WOW! I felt bad, I wanted her to read the book, but my friends reassured me, this woman had chosen this life for herself and she knew what she was getting into, nobody forced her. I still felt bad. That sucks.

Just do it...

Nike really had a good thing going when they started that ad campaign.

How many times have you heard or said: "I would love to: be a _________________, do _______________, buy _______________, make __________________, eat at that restaurant, etc etc." We, myself included, make these statements about how it would be great if we could travel to this place or have this dream job or just ride a bicycle everyday in the sun, but when push comes to shove, we don't actually do it.

Then there are other people who do do it and they are ridiculed. "What does she/he think she's/he's doing?" "She/he should get a proper job." "She/he is wasting her/his time/money."

Why else do we live? Isn't our life defined by our actions and the decisions we make in our everyday lives? Nobody would have ever remembered Albert Einstein if he wasn't so darn persistent about his work. Any artist, creator, inventor will tell you that they have had to work through "failures" time and time again. But it pays to be persistent.

What I want to get out of this is support people in following their dreams. I don't like to see people not follow their dreams and I don't want to hear anybody not support me in mine. Anyone's lack of support for your dreams or mine comes from a place of their own personal insecurity and her/his not believing in her/himself. That's all I have to say about that.

So, like Nike says, Just do it. Train for that marathon, bake the cake, have the party, dye your hair, travel the world, fly a kite, learn to surf, start a blog, the list is endless, apply to grad school, learn to make wine, I can't tell you what your dreams are but I can certainly encourage you to follow them and listen to you talk about them. That's what I'm good at.

DO IT!!!!

Happy Valentimes Day

No, that's not a typo. That's what I called Valentine's Day when I was little because it made sense, the time of Valen. Valen meaning lots of love and chocolate. Works for me. I only wish this time was longer than one day.

With my students in class last week we made Valentines. It's not as popular of a holiday here as in the US so, as I'm an Ambassador of North American Culture, I decided it would be a fun activity. The students loved it, it was something new and different, and North American. I told the students they could make them for their friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, family, teachers, etc. Most of them made them for me, which was awesome! Here's a picture of all the Valentines, I posted on the wall above my bed.

One of my students asked me if he could write "I love me" on his Valentine. I said "OF COURSE!" What an awesome guy. I asked him if he liked Valentine's Day and he said "no, it's boring."

"Boring?" I asked, "Why?"

"Because I am bad with the women."

Lonely

I'd like to say I hope you never feel lonely. It's a very disagreeable feeling but it would be unrealistic for me to wish for you and I try to be a realist. I accept that we suffer in this life but I guess the difference between me and other people is I think suffering only makes the good, better. Alfred Lord Tennyson said "'Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." I read that when I was really young and it's stuck with me. I really believe it. Is it better if you don't know what you're missing? I remember playing a game as kids, we would ask each other, "If you had to choose one of the 5 senses to give up which would it be?" It's a tough question, maybe if you were born without a sense it wouldn't be as bad as losing it? But then if you were the person who had lost it, at least you would have spent part of your life enjoying that sense? I think what it boils down to is people who like to live safe or risk takers. A safe living person would prefer to have never had the sensation or to have never loved someone. A risk taker loves and lives because for an unknown amount of time, she/he enjoys something beautiful in life. Isn't that how you want to live?

I went hiking with some friends the other day. We hiked along the river Barbadiño, over moss covered rocks and under the shade of naked chestnut trees. The sun was out, which was a real treat for a Galician winter day. At one point, on our way back to the car, a couple of my friends striped down and went swimming in the river. On February 12, in the cold of winter in Northern Spain. I played the safe role and watched from the trail, dry and warm from the sunlight. They let out squeals of delight. Of life. They were living. I was not. When they got out of the river, they were refreshed and energized. The blood was rushing through their veins, oxygen and life. I felt so lethargic watching from the side of the river. The sun felt even better to them after having been in the cold water. They were only in the water for about 3-4 minutes. As we walked back to the car, I thought how cool that was. That's the life I strive to have, but sometimes I don't act on it. There are still parts of me that play it safe, but I want to try to overcome those feelings. This only reaffirms my belief that we "suffer" a little bit, and reap the benefits. Whether it be the euphoric feeling after going for a run or swimming in a cold river or driving the extra hour to see a friend, losing sleep to spend time with a loved one, you name it. The good things in life cost in one way or another. So do it. Live, love, suffer, feel pain and feel comfort. I hope you all do.

Here are some pictures from our hike:

A baby waterfall

Silver Wattle in bloom (also known as mimosa)

The trail

A part of the river and mossy rocks.

Beauty.

Apathetic Philosophy

So, as I've mentioned before, I help in a Philosophy class at one of my highschools. The class is taught in English and the teacher is an angel, there's no other way to put it. She has a really soft voice, she is very feminine and she owns a chocolate shop. She's the kind of person who could make you feel bad for being angry about something. I remember one time I was angry about something and I told her the story, her face turned upside down and her soft eyes pierced into my passionate, furious eyes. She told me she was personally sorry for whatever it was the other people had done to me that had made me upset. I felt like a jerk. I told her she didn't need to be sorry, it was probably something I had misunderstood or maybe I was having a bad day, or it was a cultural difference. I mean she's seriously just the sweetest thing that exists. When the students are lifeless and don't participate in class she doesn't scold them or criticize them, she insists that they are different from her other groups (normal teenagers) and maybe they don't talk so much because they are thinking. Really, we need more people like her.

Anyways, in class today she had listed on the board 3 categories: feeling, emotion and passion. Each of these had a philosophical definition, something along the lines of; feeling: incontrollable sentiment; emotion: a feeling accompanied with a physical sensation; and passion: something we cannot control, rather controls us. She had me write a list of words on the board and the students had to place them in their respective categories, according to the said definitions and their opinions. The list was something like:

love

joy

jealousy

hate

anger

lust

depression

compassion

After the words were categorized, we had a discussion about passion. My perceived definition of passion comes from things I am passionate about. I guess that means things/people I really like and would prefer to not live without. She asked the students to go around the room and say one thing they were passionate about. The student (and anal list-maker) in me got really excited, I was coming up with a list of things I was passionate about, but darnit, I could only choose one to share with the class, okay that's okay, there's the people I love, poetry, reading, writing, music, oh and then the types of music, Andrea Bocelli, Vivaldi, anyways, chocolate, cooking, making things for people, gardening, wine, traveling.....

She looked at the first student, "We'll start with you, please." He stared blankly at her and shrugged his shoulders. The room was silent for a bit. Then the angelic voice of the teacher came in, "Something you are passionate about, something you like to do on a weekend or a holiday." Again he sat silently and insisted he didn't know or didn't have anything. I turned around and said "SKATEBOARDING!" I had seen this kid on many occasions in a plaza near the old town skateboarding with friends, he usually has headphones on and when I wave to him, he doesn't even see me because he has one thing on his mind: skateboarding. You can see from his eyes the passion that consumes him as he rides and jumps and grinds and whatever else they call the cool stuff they do that I've always been envious of but too afraid to do. He shrugged and said "I guess."

"Next."

The next student had an answer right away, he said sweets. Right on! My kind of guy. He insisted that he had a passion for sweets and always had candy in his pockets. Turns out he did, the teacher asked him to empty his pockets and he had a bag of some sort of pink, sugary, rope-like concoction. Cool.

The next guy said sports.

The next student said nothing.

The following said nothing.

After that, music, and then nothing, again.

Out of a group of 7 students, only 4 had passions and 1 had to be told what it was?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I was appalled. I have noticed this before in another one of my classes of the same age group, they would be considered juniors in the American High School system and so they are 16-17 years in age. I mean maybe that was way long ago for me, but I remember being passionate about a ton of things, and I still am!

I was so surprised. I mean have things always been this way or is this a product of the society we now live in? I don't really care what the answer is, what I'm saying is I'm a passionate person and I'm proud, and I'm not going to change that!

The teacher, in her angelic form, said to the students who had no passions, "So what do you like to do on the weekend?"

"Surf the internet or go out with friends," answered one.

"Oh very good" said the teacher with a big smile on her face, her head tilted softly to the right. "If you had to choose between the two, which would you want to do more?"

"They're the same"

The teacher smiled, a kind, patient smile and said, "I am a very passionate person and I'm envious of you, you seem to have your lives very well balanced and you don't have a conflict of interest. For me, if I'm at home doing something, and a friend calls me to go out, I always want to go out!"

She was basically in a nice way telling them that they were lifeless creatures living for nothing, who seemingly had no opinions and didn't really care how life happened to them.

Sorry, I'm being mean.

I couldn't take it anymore "I think it's good to be passionate. What else do we live for if not to be passionate about the things we like?"

"Yes, but passionate people suffer more than non-passionate people" responded the teacher with a devastated look on her face.

"But they also enjoy life more"

"Suffering is very hard and not a pleasant thing."

"Suffering is just a part of life that we have to learn to deal with, nobody likes suffering but it's something we must accept."

The teacher's face lit up, okay class, who agrees with Sally and who agrees with me.

Of the 7, one agreed with me, one didn't know, one agreed with her, and the other 4 were in the middle.

Very lively and decisive group as you can see.

My belief was re-affirmed. I love life. I love to live and I love to be passionate about the things I like, for example my life, the sun, swimming, reading, talking to people, drinking wine and eating olives, chocolate, baking, making cards for people, listening to music I like, hiking, physically exerting myself, I sound like a classifieds ad so I'll stop, but you get the picture. Please, please, you don't have to be a show-off like me and be super passionate about 10 thousand things but at least find 1 or 2 things you think are worth doing on your day off, that put a fat smile on your face, that you look forward to, that keep your mind ticking, and pursue them!