It's amazing to me how relationships between humans work. A human being's psyche is so complex but a relationship (mother/daughter, mother/son, boyfriend/girlfriend, friends, etc...) depends on the psyche of two people. I watch daily, as people have relationships that do not work due to pride or misunderstandings. How sad. I am guilty of this, too. My pride has gotten in the way of relationships in the past or my inability to empathize with the other half of the relationship. Or my inability to explain myself. It's not all up to one person, however. When there is a misunderstanding between two people, one (the one who was misunderstood) must honestly explain themselves without getting mad and the other person has to be willing to listen and forgive. Both require putting your pride aside and being honest, opening your heart a little bit and accepting that you might get hurt, the other person may run away or completely disagree with you. Worse, they might say something hurtful to you or even worse yet, tell you that you hurt them. Then there comes the feelings of guilt and shame and feeling bad, "how could I have said that?" "why did I say that?" It's OK, you're human and you said it, but explain that you didn't mean it and when on the receiving end, trust that they didn't mean it, put yourself in the other person's shoes, be compassionate and understand that you, too have been there and done that. It makes me think back to my sophomore year of high school, in Mr. Bussio's class when we read Nelle Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird, Atticus says to Scout, "You
never really understand a person until you consider things from
his point of view . . . until you climb into his skin and walk around
in it." This piece of moral advice can be applied to many circumstances in life but in this scenario, I just urge that when you find yourself in a disagreement over a misunderstanding with a friend or loved one, to take a step back, step into his/her skin and walk around in it. Try to experience what the other person is experiencing, why did they say this, what did they mean? And accept at the end of the day that this person loves you and never meant to hurt you. This is perhaps the most difficult of all and requires great strength, but give that to yourself.
Showing posts with label books. Show all posts
Showing posts with label books. Show all posts
19 August 2013
17 July 2012
Swim
After a long day, cold and pent up in a conference room I trudged up 23rd St. to the Foggy Bottom metro stop. It was hot, about 92˚F with 82% humidity. I pushed my way down into the metro's abyss along with the thousands of other brain-dead commuters. I try not to think about the reality of where I am or how I am traveling because otherwise it would scare me too much.
I squatted down, leaning against the wall that divides the seat from the train's door. I read my book:
Comfort by Brett C. Hoover, more on that in a subsequent post. I got off at my stop and exited the metro station. It was still hot as Hebes, except now it was raining. People walked home like zombies. Everybody knew where they were going but they seemed to lack emotion or purpose. I got to my friend's apartment and quickly grabbed my things to go to the pool. After 8 hours of sitting, I needed to move. We walked to the pool, chatting, as friends do.
The pool was extremely crowded. Not what I am used to, but then again, I normally attend the pool back home and at 6 in the morning. It was really nice to see so many people swimming. I shared a lane with 2 other men. When we would coincide at the end of the lane, I would offer them to swim ahead of me, explaining that I was a slow swimmer. One young guy said "Slow and steady wins the race, right?" A huge smile came across my face, "that's right."
Thank you, cute swimmer man. You and your 4 leaf clover tattoo on your left shoulder made my day.
I squatted down, leaning against the wall that divides the seat from the train's door. I read my book:
Comfort by Brett C. Hoover, more on that in a subsequent post. I got off at my stop and exited the metro station. It was still hot as Hebes, except now it was raining. People walked home like zombies. Everybody knew where they were going but they seemed to lack emotion or purpose. I got to my friend's apartment and quickly grabbed my things to go to the pool. After 8 hours of sitting, I needed to move. We walked to the pool, chatting, as friends do.
The pool was extremely crowded. Not what I am used to, but then again, I normally attend the pool back home and at 6 in the morning. It was really nice to see so many people swimming. I shared a lane with 2 other men. When we would coincide at the end of the lane, I would offer them to swim ahead of me, explaining that I was a slow swimmer. One young guy said "Slow and steady wins the race, right?" A huge smile came across my face, "that's right."
Thank you, cute swimmer man. You and your 4 leaf clover tattoo on your left shoulder made my day.
10 March 2012
How I Deal
Today is one of those bar-and-a-half-of-chocolate days. I love those days! Sometimes it's just so right...
So anyways, I'm in my office, studying. I have an exam coming up and I find that I actually enjoy doing the homework. Oops? No, I'm not ashamed. Well, I guess I enjoy checking my answer and seeing that I did it correctly. Is that self-absorbed? Please don't answer that.
I have decorated my corner of our office with a huge, beautiful, vibrantly colored painting, the adjacent wall has 2 smaller paintings, one is a tiny canvas that my brother brought me back from Puerto Rico (maybe?), and the other is a watercolor my aunt painted for me on our trip to Hawai'i a couple of years back. That was a fun trip! She painted and I read. My definition of read is contextual. In this context, read means nap on the beach with a book open on my chest (causing a rectangular tan line!) while my aunt paints. There are other definitions of read, sometimes the book serves as a rather stiff pillow for my head (that's when I am napping on my stomach, rather than my back). There's read, where I'm sitting in a chair, feet up, the book sits in my lap and my head is flung back, mouth open and I am snoring, in the sun. There is a common theme we see here, the sun and my sleeping. Shoot. There's read on the couch, under a blanket with a cup of tea, and actually have my eyes on the page and I am taking in what is wonderfully written. Yes, I mean to say wonderfully written, because I don't waste my time reading things I don't like. And I suggest you don't either. That's like eating food you don't like, who does that?
Where was I?
There's read in bed and read in the car, there's read on the bus (one of my favorites!), and read in a hammock, read in front of the fireplace, read on the grass, read in a tree, read in a library, read in a cafe....
Just wanted to share my thoughts, back to studying....much love, hope you're reading a good book! If you need a suggestion, I have plenty!
So anyways, I'm in my office, studying. I have an exam coming up and I find that I actually enjoy doing the homework. Oops? No, I'm not ashamed. Well, I guess I enjoy checking my answer and seeing that I did it correctly. Is that self-absorbed? Please don't answer that.
I have decorated my corner of our office with a huge, beautiful, vibrantly colored painting, the adjacent wall has 2 smaller paintings, one is a tiny canvas that my brother brought me back from Puerto Rico (maybe?), and the other is a watercolor my aunt painted for me on our trip to Hawai'i a couple of years back. That was a fun trip! She painted and I read. My definition of read is contextual. In this context, read means nap on the beach with a book open on my chest (causing a rectangular tan line!) while my aunt paints. There are other definitions of read, sometimes the book serves as a rather stiff pillow for my head (that's when I am napping on my stomach, rather than my back). There's read, where I'm sitting in a chair, feet up, the book sits in my lap and my head is flung back, mouth open and I am snoring, in the sun. There is a common theme we see here, the sun and my sleeping. Shoot. There's read on the couch, under a blanket with a cup of tea, and actually have my eyes on the page and I am taking in what is wonderfully written. Yes, I mean to say wonderfully written, because I don't waste my time reading things I don't like. And I suggest you don't either. That's like eating food you don't like, who does that?
Where was I?
There's read in bed and read in the car, there's read on the bus (one of my favorites!), and read in a hammock, read in front of the fireplace, read on the grass, read in a tree, read in a library, read in a cafe....
Just wanted to share my thoughts, back to studying....much love, hope you're reading a good book! If you need a suggestion, I have plenty!
08 June 2011
Wilde Quote
Fellow readers, I really do apologize for my absence, my brother was visiting me and then we were joined by our parents at which point we did a mini tour of Spain after I finished work and moved out of my apartment. As you can imagine, it was hectic.
When I was in Madrid with my brother, we stayed with a friend of a friend and on his bookshelf I found Oscar Wilde´s "The Picture of Dorian Gray." I had picked that book up in the same apartment in December and was captivated by the first page but abandonded the book due to upcoming travels. This time, the owner of the book told me to take it and get it back to him whenever I got the chance. He said "to share a book with someone is splendid. To know that someone else is getting use out of the book is satisfying. Otherwise I feel like it´s a waste of space." Cool philosophy!
So now that my family has left, and my life has settled down, I am reading again. I just wanted to share this quote with you because I can really relate to it.
"You know more than you think you know, just as you know less than you want to know." -Lord Henry, pg 28 of Wilde´s "The Picture of Dorian Gray."
I often feel this way, ignorant, there´s so much to know and so little time and I want to be an expert on bee keeping and wine production and speak several languages and astraunomy and biology and you get the picture. However, that doesn´t take away from what I do know, which I often forget.
I think curiousity is a wonderful feeling that we should all strive to keep alive until we die. Otherwise, what are we doing here if not learning and sharing with others what we know, and re-evaluating what we know and listening to others.....?
When I was in Madrid with my brother, we stayed with a friend of a friend and on his bookshelf I found Oscar Wilde´s "The Picture of Dorian Gray." I had picked that book up in the same apartment in December and was captivated by the first page but abandonded the book due to upcoming travels. This time, the owner of the book told me to take it and get it back to him whenever I got the chance. He said "to share a book with someone is splendid. To know that someone else is getting use out of the book is satisfying. Otherwise I feel like it´s a waste of space." Cool philosophy!
So now that my family has left, and my life has settled down, I am reading again. I just wanted to share this quote with you because I can really relate to it.
"You know more than you think you know, just as you know less than you want to know." -Lord Henry, pg 28 of Wilde´s "The Picture of Dorian Gray."
I often feel this way, ignorant, there´s so much to know and so little time and I want to be an expert on bee keeping and wine production and speak several languages and astraunomy and biology and you get the picture. However, that doesn´t take away from what I do know, which I often forget.
I think curiousity is a wonderful feeling that we should all strive to keep alive until we die. Otherwise, what are we doing here if not learning and sharing with others what we know, and re-evaluating what we know and listening to others.....?
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