Vulnerability

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

-C. S. Lewis

I think vulnerability is a tough issue for most people.  Nobody wants to be hurt or humiliated but being hurt is part of feeling and feeling is what being alive is all about.  It is unrealistic to go through life thinking you cannot get hurt.  Anything that causes you joy could also cause you pain, and not necessarily directly.  For example, you have a cat that you love, and then it dies.  Cats have shorter lives that humans.  It's a part of life and we must accept it.  That is a simplified example but it gets to the point.    I think maybe people get caught up in just feeling good, which isn't a bad thing, I think it's normal but maybe we are raised or socialize to avoid feeling sadness.

"God breaks the heart again and again until it stays open." 

-Haziat Inayat Khan

I'm simply writing this to remind us all that pain is a part of life and we should embrace it.  The fear of pain causes many people to close their hearts to others or to the world.  I guess the fear of pain is in a way a fear of being vulnerable.  Put yourself out there with good intentions and experience what the world has to offer you.   

xx

Use your words

Use your words.  Those are three words that a preschool teacher or the parent of a toddler repeats regularly. But like most lessons we teach our children, they continue to be applicable in the adult world where we don't have a preschool teacher or parent to point us in the right direction every time we commit a social boo-boo (like being nice to one another).  Use your words for children is asking them to not throw a tantrum but use their verbal skills to express what it is they want/don't want, like/dislike, etc.  Use your words for adults implies say what you mean and mean what you say.  Although it could mean the same as the toddler version, but I would like to think that most adults developed verbal skills along with their adult-body.  I've been wrong before. 

I bring this up because I was reflecting on sarcasm that is used by many to express appreciation, interest or intended to be a form of flirting.  You often hear people saying something mean and sarcastic in an effort to mask their feelings of awe, appreciation, or gratitude of another person.  For example, I gave somebody something I had made the other day and asked for their opinion.  The response I received was "I'm sure it sucks." What?!  It's not that I think that what I made is good but a thank you would suffice.  Why would one say that?  Is it a defense mechanism?  Covering up for personal insecurities?  I was taught that it's nice to be nice to other people and that my words are the most socially prominent way of communicating my feelings.  When somebody brings you something they made or bought or a flower they picked for you, or whatever why wouldn't you explicitly and overtly express your appreciation of it? (Even if you don't appreciate it mama taught me to say thank you, always.)  This mean-sarcasm nonsense is foolish and juvenile.  I do not condone this behavior.  I think it's lovely to be charming and sweet, it makes people feel good.  And if people don't know how to respond to it, well shame on them, they ought to learn.  One doesn't have to get "awkward" (another notion I dislike, but I'll save that for another rant).  You say thank you.  Or you say what you mean!  "I appreciate the flowers you brought me," "I really enjoyed spending time with you," "I would like to get to know you more," "I appreciate your insight," "I would prefer not to stay out all night, thank you, let's have lunch instead."  Say what you  mean and mean what you say.  Use your words.  

Hope Is The Thing With Feathers by Emily Dickinson

We all have those days when we feel sad or down.  It's not bad to feel that way, it's just a part of life, a duality so to speak - good and bad, day and night, light and dark, etc.  These exist naturally complimenting each other and therefore our emotions will not always be happy. The beautiful thing about having sad days is the memories with which you can cheer yourself up, or the friends you can call or a beautiful poem.  Also, being sad makes the happy times that much happier... 

This Emily Dickinson poem cheered me up today, nothing like a little hope.

Hope Is The Thing With Feathers

  

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

Monterey bike path

Why one oughtn't have headphones/earphones on while running or walking on the bike path:

1. The barking of the seals and sea lions is missed
2. AND the sound of the otters crunching abalone 
3. AND the sound of birds chirping 
4. AND the sound of waves crashing or kayakers paddling 
5. you are unaware of your surroundings 
6. you don't get to say good morning/good day/good afternoon/good evening to your fellow runners/walkers/bikers

Good morning, Monterey, view from my commute to work 

the Wharf 

Sensual

People talk about sensual as if it just pertains to sex but break down the word and it's simply "of the senses."  The five senses: sight, smell, touch, taste and hearing.  I argue that being sensual is just having a heightened or more in touch awareness of one's senses and yes, why not?!  That is the only way we know, or are given to interact with our environment so why not experience it fully?  There is all this talk about living moderately and I agree to a certain extent but what is life if not to experience it extremely?  Why not experience something fully?  Taste the flavours of the world?  Smell the flowers or the odor of another human being.  Touch something soft or feel touched, there is nothing wrong with that.  Experience a sense and try to associate it with another, it will act as an exercise for your memory and for your sensuality, what smell can you associate with a touch or a taste?  In fact, smell and taste are closely linked.  If you smell something before or while you eat it, it will be more impactful. 

Sensual is a rarely used word in our vocabulary.  And when used it is associated with seduction or poetry.  No.  Live sensually and live passionately and you will live a more fruitful, enjoyable life.

Good morning!

My run this morning was a trip down memory lane.  I ran in the Del Monte Forest, in front of my house, behind the building which used to be home to my Kindergarten and behind my high school, on the trails that I ran countless miles in Cross Country practice or had high school biology lessons and in front of the spa where I would exercise with a dear friend.  

I leapt into the forest and was hit in the face with cold, wet air.  It was markedly colder in the forest and it felt good; one of the best ways to wake up.  Approaching a fallen tree I imagined myself a hurdler, jumped over it and laughed out loud.  As I ran down towards Spanish Bay, I saw some men in jail-orange vests.  They were standing by trucks and near the fence that I had just noticed the week before.  I assumed the fence was put up for last week's Pebble Beach Food & Wine and prayed they would take it down after the event.  

"Good morning!" I called.  Before they could respond, "Is this fence temporary?" 

The younger of the two looked uncomfortable and said "yes"

"Awesome," I responded, not slowing down my pace.  

Phew...I know many runners, walkers, cyclists who would not have been pleased to have that ugly fence intersect our routes.  

I ran passed purple irises and marveled at a hawk flying away from her/his nest.  Maybe there are babies in there?! I thought.  What does one call a baby bird, I pondered. 

I got lost in the trails and ran over a bridge, remembering the time I had to hold the little girl's hand whom I used to babysit because she was afraid to cross alone.  

My legs were not as strong as I like them and I had to remind myself to be patient, it's OK, having not run for some time, and coming off a cleanse, this is to be expected.  But, I assured myself, our bodies are amazing and with persistence, anything is possible.

Creativity

On account of being on a cleanse and still working full time, I have not been exercising.  I devote my energy to work and thus have not been taking my morning walks, either.  My body wants the time to rest, and that's OK, after all, that is the point of the cleanse.  However, on my solitary walks is when I think about things to write, my thoughts develop with the monotonous movement of my legs and the beauty of my surroundings.  A bird will chirp and inspire a thought or a wave will crash and it will spark an emotional fire.  

A dear friend told me that we are losing creativity in today's society; we are always connected, attached, plugged-in such that we don't have down time which is where creativity flourishes.  In fact, people most commonly say "I had a great idea when I was in the shower!" because that is the only place that the cell phone has not (yet) been able to infiltrate.  At the gym, people have their headphones jammed into their ears to block out all life and get themselves through their miserable workout and what's worse is when this is outdoors.  Wouldn't one want to hear nature, be aware of her/his surroundings, greet their fellow runner? At home, people have the TV blaring as "background noise."  Are we afraid to be alone with our own thoughts?  What happened to sitting and contemplating? Silence?  Isn't is said that Isaac Newton's theory of gravitation was inspired by the fall of an apple?  I don't know that Newton would have seen that apple fall if he was texting and walking or distracted by talking on his cell phone.  (I am guilty of these things,  myself.)

According to the wise Albert Einstein, "The monotony and solitude of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind."  

Maybe we ought to incorporate some more quiet time in our lives?  Some time to just watch the wind blow.  Maybe it will inspire in us some creativity or maybe just allow us to take in the magnificence of the world.    

Let your mind dance with your body

It had just stopped raining when I stepped out for my walk, but you couldn't tell the difference, the fog was so thick it was like walking through a cold steam room.  Glorious.  On my walk, I was reflecting on the book I am reading, The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh.  The novel tells the story of a girl, Victoria, who has lived in foster homes for her entire childhood.  It goes back and forth, alternating chapters of her present, adult life (age 18) and her childhood between group homes and foster homes, etc.  In the part about her childhood, we learn that at one point she lived with a woman who was versed on the language of flowers, the old Victorian way for lovers to communicate by sending each other flowers, each one having a meaning.  It is one of the only things young Victoria is interested in. (For example, the yellow carnation means rejection, disdain or "You have disappointed me," while the daisy symbolizes innocence, loyal love, purity or faith.  You can see how lovers would communicate sending these flowers - fresh, pressed or drawings of them, back and forth to one another.) Thus far, Victoria is incapable of having relationships, including friendships.  She has been so betrayed, damaged, hurt that she is unwilling to let anyone in.  I got to thinking about relationships.  I cringed at the internal wounds of ruined friendships or relationships.  We all have those people in our lives with whom we simply cannot communicate effectively.  Our words are misunderstood, we misunderstand theirs, we were young, unaware of our actions, etc.

My melancholy thoughts were dismissed by the song of the birds, beckoning the sun to rise - the sun I will not see behind the thick, drippy marine layer.  I sighed and took in my surroundings.  A bunny scampered across the path and I sped up to catch a glimpse of her/him.  The air smelled acidic, which is characteristic of the shrubbery growing down by the ocean, and although I do not particularly like the smell, I love what the smell is associated with - the beauty of the ocean and countless memories of running along the boardwalk.    Each footstep on the sandy path uncovered an oval of dry sand.  I noticed that I was not alone as there were hoof prints as well; the deer graze just off the path but know no such path. The ocean was calm, deep grey, which was the perfect contrast to the not-so-white sky.  I kept on my way, smiling at a bench that had been built into the fence of a person's home.  It was flanked on either side with rosemary - the deep green speckled with its characteristic light purple flowers, rosemary - remembrance.  How appropriate.  

Passion

So I find it really interesting the conversation surrounding "passion."  My friend, Merriam-Webster, defines passion as "a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept" or "an object of desire or deep interest" (source) (there are some other definitions for the word but for the most commonly used context, I think this is appropriate).  

Now with that said, I would like to talk a little bit about passion.  There is a Spanish song by Bebo and Cigala, a Spanish singer and a Cuban guitarist that sings of a man that is in love with two women.  One is his wife, the mother of his children and the other is the passionate love of his life.  I think of this and I think, why can't those 2 people be the same person?  But then I think of the people I have known and the conversations I have had and many people do not have the courage to pursue passion.  It is like living a convenient life, an easy life.  It is easy or safe to just settle but to have passion you have to suffer.  I think in the society we live in we view suffering as a bad thing but I think that one must suffer to experience the good things in life.  Suffering is another emotion we must endure to feel other sentiments in life.  I don't believe that you would feel truly happy having not felt sad.  Why can't the woman you're married to, the mother of your children also be the woman you are passionately in love with? Why cannot people be happily passionate, why must we settle, why can't we take risks?  I understand why but I don't know why so many people just accept this.   It is easier.  But do you want your life to be easy or thrilling?  Do you want to wake up for the rest of your life just going through the motions or do you want to be happy, excited, passionate about your life?  Crying isn't the worst thing in the world, at least you got to experience something so meaningful in your life that it brought you to tears.   

I could go off on another tangent about the misconception of passion and anger in our society or the poor reception of passion but I will leave that for another post.  I can't tell you the number of times people have said (about me) "what's wrong with you?" or "Why are you so angry?"  It's called passion!! A reason to live something worth my energy, my breath, my time! 

I will leave y'all with my thoughts.  I hope you find passion in your life, I hope you have the courage to pursue your passion and I hope you never settle for anything below your standards for yourself.  When you put your head down on that pillow at night I hope you are happy with the decisions you made during the day or at least can understand why you made those decisions, if you're unhappy I hope you don't repeat those mistakes.  

Nature Tax

I was on a morning walk the other morning and I walked past a tree full of apples.  I went over and picked a couple and went along on my walk.  After I got a reasonable distance away, I inspected them. One had a big hole in it and there lay a fat, black momma worm and several of her young.  I threw it to the side of the road and inspected the second one, it was spotless.  I stuck it in my pocket and continued on my walk, pondering this situation.  One could remedy this by spraying some type of pesticide on the apple tree, but I immediately refuted that idea as we're all aware of the harmful effects of pesticides on other wildlife, the environment and ourselves.  I thought of something my friend in Spain had told me.  She had a whole bunch of fruit trees in her yard - cherries, walnuts, plums, apples, pears, figs not to mention the vegetable garden!  I remember walking around her yard with her, going from tree to tree, admiring her crop.  I saw that some of the cherries had bird pecks in them which prompted to me to ask if she sprayed her yard with any sort of insecticide.  She answered very matter-of-factly, "no."  She went on to explain that that was just the price it took to have a fruitful yard.  All the while on my walk I thought of this...I thought when you make money, you pay taxes to a government for it to give you good things, to take care of you, so to speak.  In some parts of the world you pay more taxes than others and in various places you get more goodies for your taxes than in others.  So couldn't animals having at your crop be thought as a tax that you pay to nature?  I mean nature is giving you something good - fruit or vegetables, cereals, etc.  In return, just like you pay taxes to your government for "life goodies," you pay tax to nature for "real goodies" - food!  

Midnight heartburn

Sometimes I like sleepless nights.  I toss and I turn, unwilling to succumb to the insomnia until finally I relent.  It’s usually a result of some bad culinary decision I made in the evening.  This time it was popcorn, beer, chocolate cake frosting and 2 bites of extremely spicy Szechuan food. 

I got up, had a glass of water, responded to some pending e-mails, checked facebook, wrote in my journal, read an old journal, text messaged some friends.  I really hope I didn’t wake them; it was 2:50 am after all. 

I heard a tap-tap on my bedroom door.  I knew this would happen.  I had woken up my light-sleeper, super sensitive roommate, AKA, my dad.  “What’s wrong?  Are you ok?  Why aren’t you sleeping?  Aren’t you tired?  How long have you been up?  What did you eat last night?”  I answered his questions, reassuringly.  He followed me to the kitchen as we chatted politics.  Appropriate 3 am conversation.  He went back to bed and I stayed on the computer, chatting with friends in different time zones. 

I contemplated making lifestyle changes; I do enjoy sleeping the whole night through and not having heartburn.  But if I did that, when would I write?  What would be my inspiration for these quirky blog posts?  Then I laughed to myself, if something is going to happen, it’s going to happen.  If you want something bad enough, you will make it work.  I am inspired by all sorts of things, late night heartburn and sleepless nights are fine and dandy but I could use some healthier inspiration.  

Perception

“And those who were seen dancing, were thought to be crazy, by those who could not hear the music.” - Friedrich Nietzsche 


It's really amazing how you perceive other people.  I get this a lot and it annoys me.  Whether it be because one is young, female, male, athletic, loud, quiet, wears high heels, laughs a lot, the list is endless.  You see someone and you subconsciously, or not so subconsciously (which is worse) make an assumption.  You are young so you have no life experience.  You wear high heels therefore you have no brain.  Old people don't know how to have fun.  Etc. Etc.  


I'm sure you've heard it, to assume is to make an ASS out of U and ME (spells ASSUME).  So don't make assumptions.  Well, that's easy to say.  Try not to make assumptions?  Or if you make an assumption, try not to act or open your mouth about it?  Be aware that your assumptions could hurt somebody else?  I end these phrases with question marks because I'm developing this as I write.  I am also thinking to myself, do I need to work on this?  I'm sure I do.  We're human, ergo imperfect.  I guess it's just being aware of it.  Being aware that a snide comment may hurt somebody else.  


It's also knowledge and experience.  I'm sure you have met a person who appeared to be one thing and then you got to talking to them and discovered that they actually were not anything like what you thought about them.  Let me give an example.  A person with big glasses is assumed to be intelligent or to work with computers.  Wait, that actually happened today, I was appalled.  I went to the post office and the person at the front of the line was wearing wide rimmed glasses and he wasn't aware that one of the tellers was available, he probably didn't hear him call "next, please."  So a woman further back in the line yells "Hey, computer boy!"  The guy with the glasses looked at her embarrassed, I don't know this for a fact but maybe he doesn't work with computers?  Everybody was a bit dumbfounded and nobody knew what to do, especially the poor guy with the glasses!   Maybe it's not a good example, but I like it as a story.  


Anyways, all I'm saying is people are way more awesome than we give them credit for if we just go around judging and mis-perceiving people.  You're missing out on a whole lot of cool people if you rule them out for their appearance or age or color or the list goes on and on...


Enjoy life, you know?

Be

The other day I was thinking "I'm so _________"  And then I thought afterwards, that's so bad.  And then I thought why does what I think or feel have to be good or bad or whatever.  Why can't what I think just be.

A good friend of mine once told me that feelings come and then they go.  You can't help your feelings, so just accept them.  If you feel happy, then embrace it.  If you feel sad, feel sad, cry, that's okay, don't obsess over sadness and dwell on it, because that's no good, but feel it, and let it pass through you. 

And about being true to yourself.  It's like if you're super clean and like your desk organized, well then, organized your desk!  It doesn't make you any better or worse of a person, it just makes you you.  You shouldn't have to guilty about who you are.  So you like to eat chocolate, do it.  You enjoy doing crossword puzzles first thing in the morning.  You love romance novels.  You live to fall off mountain bikes going super fast down hill.  DO IT.  Do what you love, because after all, it makes you, you. 

Travel

"For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move." RLS

How true!

I read that yesterday and it totally defines my life's philosophy. I love to travel. I love to see new things and talk to people and smell the smells of different lands. I live to see the landscape and see if I can identify the differences in the plants and animals that are foreign to me. The flavors of distinct regions of the world, or state, or even city, can be so discretely, but at the same time, completely variable. I really value the importance of travel for so many reasons but especially to see other people's beliefs and ways of life, hopefully learn a thing or 2 to improve my own life, even if that improvement comes in the form of knowing that I am satisfied with my life style and don't like the lifestyle that I observed elsewhere.

The other thing that was astounding about this quote is that I find it incredible that someone else, from a different time can so accurately explain my emotions. It's a tribute to the similarity of humans. We may often think about our feelings as unique but how wrong is that? Everything we've felt, other humans potentially have the capacity to feel as well. How amazing is that? To know that you have a sort of emotional connection with a poet from the 5th century BC who spoke a language that is now extinct! Or that people have been falling in love, feeling betrayed, suffered due to their emotions for, well, I don't even know how long but it's been documented in the form of literature since at least the 7th century BC. How cool is that?

I wish for humanity that we hold on to those things we have in common. And that we cherish those priceless things, like love and emotions, even loneliness and sadness.

Sea of Change

Yesterday a friend and I attended the TEDx conference "Sea of Change." For those of you unfamiliar with TED, it stands for Technology, Entertainment and Design. Their catchphrase is "Ideas worth spreading," and you would be proud to know that they started out hosting their conferences at Asilomar Conference Grounds in 1984!

Basically what it is is experts or experienced people in a specific field, coming together to talk about that field/subject matter. For example, yesterday was Sea of Change, there were all sorts of people who had a personal or professional relationship with the Ocean. We heard from marine biologists, ecologists, students, environmentalists, naturalists, business owners, a fisherman, and even a woman who swam the Catalina Island Channel, English Channel, Bering Strait, the Cook Strait in New Zealand, Straits of Magellan in Chile and the Cape of Good Hope in South Africa, among others. Oh, I would also like to mention that she swam the English Channel and broke both the women's and men's records at the age of 15!

It was so inspirational and beautiful. The fact that people get together to talk about what they do, what they are passionate about and what they see for the future. It is brilliant. If you ever get the chance to attend one of these events, do it! Or! You can even host a TEDx conference. Check out their website for more information and/or to watch a number of talks from previous events.

Keep thinking...keep spreading your ideas people, this is wonderful, this is what brings out innovation in our world. This is how we move forward, effectively and positively as a society and as a culture.

Quality is remembered long after price is forgotten

People often comment about the way their friends or family spend their money. Whether one chooses to pay $4.50 for a cup of coffee daily, $2000 on a fine piece of art, $15 for a salad, etc.

I firmly believe that we are at liberty to spend our money the way we deem fit. Nobody can tell us what is the "right" or "wrong" way to spend money. You may not agree with the way someone else spends their money, but that's okay, don't implement those practices in your life. For example, I don't need to pay $100 to go to a "professional" basketball game, it doesn't do anything for me, but if you want to do that, I don't mind, enjoy, if it makes you happy, by all means, do it! You may not spend $3.00 on a loaf of ciabatta bread from a local bakery, like I do. You may prefer to go to Costco, where you can buy 3 loaves of bread for that price.

What I am getting at is that you are making a lifestyle choice with the way you choose to spend your money. My $3.00 at the local bakery is supporting the bakers and the historic building the bakery is located in, the plethora of cute girls that work behind the counter, a slower lifestyle, where I get to talk to the producer of my food, etc. How cool! I have a personal relationship with the people who make my food and the people who sell me my food, I know that they are using ingredients that are of the highest quality and that we share similar beliefs in ways of life. It's real. You may think that this is putting too much thought into how we purchase our food but if you don't put thought into that, what do you put thought into? The food you eat is what keeps you alive. We often don't think about that in this society. Nobody I know has ever gone hungry. Food is so disposable and abundant that we forget that we need it to survive. It nourishes us. Without it, we would die. Seriously. That used to be a reality and it still is for some people, but for most people in our society, food is a chore or a treat or a vice. Most people eat without thinking where the food came from or where the food is going or what it is doing.

So if you are reading this, I just ask you to think about it. Think about what you consume. Think about how often you consume and who made your food, where did it come from. Who picked that apple? Who, or rather, what, made those crackers? Is the $3 for the fresh produce a better investment than the $.50 for the canned green beans. It is an investment, because, after all, your food nourishes you, the vitamins and the minerals in the food you eat affect your body, they aid in its optimal function. I don't know how much vitamins and minerals remain in canned green beans. You may end up paying the difference in medical bills or your health.

Family

Family.

What images and emotions does that word evoke for you?

For me, I think holidays, my parents, my brother, my cousins, aunts/uncles, stress, pressure, eating, fights, love, happiness, hurt, the list goes on and on.

I think it's safe to say that the majority of people take their family for granted. Yes we fight, but at the end of the day, the people we are fighting with are still our family. It's hard. We have expectations for our family members. Maybe unreasonable ones. Sometimes we let them slide, time and time again. Sometimes we use and abuse them. Underappreciate them, walk all over them or simply forget to tell them how we feel about them. I catch myself getting really frustrated with my family sometimes and I later look back and realize that I was not being fair. I wouldn't do that to my friends or even a stranger, so why would I allow myself to do it with my family?

I just want to put this little note out there to remind myself of the importance of my family in my life. I'm super blessed to have these wonderfully flawed people in my life that keep me sane and drive me insane. God knows what I do to/for them.

I love you, fog

Anybody who is familiar with West Coast climate will appreciate this.

I just spent the past 3 weeks between New York City, Washington D.C. and Philadelphia playing tourist while visiting friends. The weather was miserable. One day in Philadelphia it was dumping rain, but hot at the same time, in fact we were in the middle of a thunder storm but could not keep cool despite my being in a tank top and sandals and soaking wet! In Washington D.C., the buildings are air conditioned excessively. I believe this is unhealthy, to require a sweater to sit at your desk and then go outside and sweat instantaneously only to enter the next building and cool down far too quickly due to the cold air blasting in your face accelerating the natural process of sweating as a cooling process for the body. New York City was just muggy and hot. I could not escape the humidity, it was penetrating. You inhale and it's like you don't get enough air, it's suffocating.

I was so excited to be coming back to California, and better yet, flying into San Francisco! I had my face pressed to the window of the airplane in anticipation, turning back every 3 minutes or so to express my joy to the guy sitting next to me. You can't imagine how big the smile on my face was when we were near landing and I couldn't see a thing due to the fog, it was like you had just given me a dark chocolate mousse cake and a bottle of chilled champagne. (Maybe that's too personal of a reference. Anybody who knows me, or well, no, that's just my life.) Upon my exiting the plane and walking through the ramp connecting the plane to the gate, I had to put on my fleece! Unlike my transfer in Kansas City where I stepped off the plane and was suddenly hot, sticky and out of breath until I entered the gate, only to be shot with blasts of forced cold air from the AC vents, at which point I needed the fleece. San Francisco was naturally cold, yes! I practically ran down to baggage claim, the luggage had not yet arrived and so I bolted outside and just breathed a breath of fresh air, and then another, and another all with a goofy smile on my face.

I collected my luggage, got in my friends car and continued with this air of climate-induced euphoria as we made the drive down to Pacific Grove. As we approached the Monterey Bay, the clear blue skies turned gray, again causing this silly smile to come across my face.

Maybe I have this association with my childhood, with my family, with my friends, with memories of being a teenager or with home but fog has become something I absolutely love. The fog here is not super bad, it starts your day off fresh, cool and energizing only to burn off and give you an even more beautiful day. The landscape is made for this duality. The oak and the pine trees juxtaposed with the ocean change in color with the change in the backdrop which is the sky (or topdrop, I guess as it's the sky but that word doesn't exist.)

It's great to be home.

Behavior

So I think about our behavior as human beings in this society that we've created. Behavior, as I see it, is instinct which is then refined by religion, culture, experience, age, tradition, the way we were raised, and pop culture; which I guess could be considered a sub-category of culture but I tend to use pop-culture as my guide of "How Not to Behave," but I digress.

I got to thinking about this today when I was thinking about judging people. I was raised Catholic and was constantly told, in that environment, to not judge people. Judging is bad and there is only one judge for us all upon our death. We have all heard countless stories about judging someone based on their appearance and then later repenting upon finding out that despite their wearing rags, they have a fortune. Or treating a stranger poorly until it is revealed that he or she is some high-profile celebrity or big shot, at which point we change our behavior towards him or her, suddenly showing him or her more respect, wanting more attention or even apologizing for our "normal" behavior to him or her, claiming "I had no idea it was you!" That is bogus. I firmly believe that we can judge people based on how they treat us. I almost want to say based on how they treat others but that might be a stretch because we don't know what they are going through with other people to cause them to behave that way.

Example. If I meet somebody for the first time and they are rude to me and show no interest in having a conversation with me despite being a friend of a friend, I can judge that they are an unfriendly person, or I can be more optimistic and conclude that they are not having a good day, or that I have caught them at a bad moment. I try not to judge people on their clothes, hairstyle, job, ethnicity or education. (However, all of these things can result in great conversation topics.) I think we should treat all people with a basic respect that can then grow or shrink based on the interaction we have with them. Take for example, manners. I like being polite because I think it's a part of the refinement of our behavior that distinguishes us and it makes life easier at no additional cost to us, except maybe a smile or a kind word. Plus, weren't we all told in kindergarten to treat others the way we wanted to be treated and I like for people to be polite to me so I am going to be polite to them. Furthermore, I have found that the amount of goodness in the world is abundant and if you are just good to others, it will be reciprocated to you in the form of say a free dessert at a restaurant or a job offer or just about anything you may need in your life that other people have and can help you with.

I'm going to keep this short but my moral is to just be good to others. It makes you feel good and you would be surprised by the connections you may make or what you have in common with others. Also, we all have bad days and a little compassion and understanding could make someone's bad day not so bad.

:)

Rodents

I really like that there are rats in the NY subway. Maybe that's not sanitary, because the rats carry diseases and maybe it's cruel because they often get run over by the trains and maybe it's weird that I like that rodents run on train tracks under one of the busiest cities in the world. But I think it's cool that in such a seemingly lifeless environment, these creatures live and procreate, despite the rodenticide that the city sets out to try to eliminate this problem. If you're not looking for them, you probably won't even see them, which is also a lesson in being alert and attentive. Cool stuff.